I was never a forgiving person. In fact, I was one of those who never forget when someone made an infraction against me. I would remember it, file it away, then use it against the person in a time I feel that it would cause the most number of damage.
You see, I was one of those persons who always needs a verbal sorry. You can make it up to me in so many ways but if you do not say sorry, I just can't forgive you. Even then, I'd still want vengeance.
To say I was vindictive and vengeful would be an understatement.
However, when one ages and hopefully matures, you learn that holding on to anger damages you more than it damages anyone else, least of all the person whom you are mad at. I realized that I don't need to hear a sorry to forgive them. Heck, I don't even need them to say sorry just so I can forgive them.
I will forgive them not for them but FOR ME. Yes, I will forgive because I deserve to not feel this heaviness inside me. I will forgive because I deserve better.
Lately, I noticed that my son has a budding hatred for his Dad and so I spoke to him and explained why he shouldn't feel that way. I told him that I understand how he feels because I, too, hated my father for such a long time. I told him that when you hate someone, its just a really heavy feeling inside and he doesn't deserve to feel that way. I told him to look on the bright side instead of the bad side.
I know that it won't be as easy as that but I think that its a first step. I just hope that I will be able to instill in him the value of forgiving someone even when that person has never asked for forgiveness.