As the song goes ...

Here I am
Alone and I don't understand
Exactly how it all began
The dream just walked away
I'm holding on
When all but the passion's gone

And from the start
Maybe I was tryin' too hard
It's crazy coz it's breakin' my heart
Things can fall apart but I know
That I don't want you to go

Things were not okay. Things have not been smooth sailing the past month or so. Yet, I wanted to be with you. I wanted to work things out. I have not been the best person to be with, but I tried to be one. Eventhough I was so broken, I tried to be whole. I wanted it to be okay.

Amidst all the spats and the fights, I was still happy because you were there. You made me happy. I think I was not able to return the favor.

I thought we could survive anything. I thought wrong. You chose her over me. I have to accept that your friend mattered more than I did. It hurts so much but I need to accept it.

Thank you ... thank you for putting me in my place.

As the song goes ... Here I am Alone and I don't understand Exactly how it all began The dream just walked away I'm holding on...

No more me, for the me that I am is not someone you want.
No more me, for the me that I am is not someone you love.
No more me, for the me that I am does not make you happy.

I will happily let go of me
for you matter more than me
I will easily let go of me
for your happiness matters more than mine.

There will be no more me
no more craziness, no more crankiness
no more bitchiness.

I shall be what you want me to be
I shall be what you wish me to be.

For I do not want to lose you
And so I choose to lose myself
I choose us over me
No more me.
This is how it will be.

No more me, for the me that I am is not someone you want. No more me, for the me that I am is not someone you love. No more me, for the me...

I once knew this woman who was really nice; she was loving, sincere, and caring. She was very down to earth though she had more money than us. She lived a simple life and she kept to her circle of friends and to her family. She was TM to me.

TM was my Mom's best friend. They were there for each other through the hospitalization of their children, through the fights and making up, through all the birthdays, Christmases, and New Years. TM was there for my Mom and my Mom was there for TM. She was there when Mark died and we all grieved. Their friendship spanned more than a decade.

But as they say, some good things never last. This was one of those things.

TM became rich, rich beyond her wildest dreams and along with that richness, she began to change. She was not the same TM that I knew and loved. She learned to call on her friends only when she needed them, when she had something to gain. She learned to value money and power more than friendship and family. She became poisoned.

It's a sad thing to see such a thing happen. It's a very very sad thing. I miss the old TM. I really do. I wish she would go back to the way she was before. I liked her better when she wasn't too rich. She may not have been a millionaire, but at least she was real.

I once knew this woman who was really nice; she was loving, sincere, and caring. She was very down to earth though she had more money than u...

A girl once gave a guy ten reasons as to why they should continue their relationship ... she said ...

1. I love you more than my own life.
2. I think you still love me.
3. I have not cheated on you and have no plans of cheating on you.
4. Even when we fight, even when you tell me hurtful words, even when you tell me you're near giving up on me, I still want to work things out.
5. Even when you hurt me, I still love you.
6. I want to be your wife.
7. I want to have a kid with you; me, who hates kids and promised to never have kids, is excited to ahve a baby with you.
8. I want to wake up in the morning with you beside me and sleep at night curled up beside you.
9. You make me happy. I think I still make you happy at times.
10. I will never run out of reasons to give you as to why we should fight for us.

He answered: And then?

A girl once gave a guy ten reasons as to why they should continue their relationship ... she said ... 1. I love you more than my own life....

I had the unfortunate opportunity of explaining to K, my little sister, why the dog we adopted and tried to save was dying. See, she saw that it was weak and decided to watch over it. It then started to wheeze and obviously was about to die. She started bawling like no other. It was heartbreaking.

I told her it was because the puppy was neglected and not allowed to eat for several days. As much as we would like for the puppy to live, it didn't survive anymore. It was really sad. I felt so sad seeing the puppy trying to breathe and knowing that it wouldn't.

It was really heartbreaking. =(

I had the unfortunate opportunity of explaining to K, my little sister, why the dog we adopted and tried to save was dying. See, she saw tha...

I am poor in ...

1. money ... I need more to have a comfortable life, be able to give my Mom what she deserves and what she needs ... as well as B and my siblings.
2. problems ... I have a few but not too many which I am thankful for.

I am rich in ...

1. family who loves me
2. friends who remain loyal and faithful
3. B and J
4. a house that is also a home
5. fats that show I am able to eat more than needed
6. faith in God
7. stable job

How about you?

I am poor in ... money ... I need more to have a comfortable life, be able to give my Mom what she deserves and what she needs ... as well...

I am ready to rest. I am dead tired but had to share my fuzzy eye cover. Lol. Good night everyone!

writing, one of his favorite things to do playing basketball in the laziest way ever ready to swim ... SEXY! =)

This is Magick, our siberian spitz ... she is officially 27 years old now. She's a bit old and I feel sad knowing she won't have many dog years left.

This is Magick, our siberian spitz ... she is officially 27 years old now. She's a bit old and I feel sad knowing she won't have ma...

I was reading a new book in the Chicken Soup series when I came across a small box that listed things that comforted the author and it got me writing this post ...

What are the things that comfort me? What are the things that make me smile and make me feel better?

1. Magick, my dog
2. my CareBears collection
3. a hug from J
4. a kiss from B
5. scrapbooking
6. good coffee
7. a fluffy, furry thing (pen, notebook, what have you)
8. comments in my blog posts
9. really comfortable shoes
10. shopping!!!
11. cheap, good pizza
12. blogging!
13. text messages from people I love
14. getting a citymug
15. FLOWERS!!!!

I think I'm too easy to please and too easily comforted but ... I don't care ... I'm happy ...

I was reading a new book in the Chicken Soup series when I came across a small box that listed things that comforted the author and it got m...

This is what's left of it. The building was destroyed in World War II during the Battle of Manila and never rebuilt. It is now just a shell, and being used as a parking lot. The Ayuntamiento is located next to the Manila Cathedral in Intramuros. Too bad they didn't rebuild the Ayuntamiento Building. You can clearly see its original lines today.

1902 This is the Ayuntamiento Building sometime in the early 1900s, all festooned with the Stars & Stripes possibly for the 4th of...

I had to show it off! J, look!!! my dessert the classic group pic with the food with Kumareng Cherry look at where B is looking .....

I have decided to change B's milk for 2 reasons. The old one was a bit expensive and he is now 4. I know for some people he should hav...

Thanks Max for this new addition to my collection. Collection pics to be posted in a bit. =)

with Nanny M on the way to McDo with Nanny A at McDo enjoying the Mcdo treat of Nanny A with Ninang May Anne chocolate! Mommy ...

I hope you will always be smiling the way you are in this photo ... I wish that you will always be in good health and that you will grow to be a God fearing child. I love you B!

I hope you will always be smiling the way you are in this photo ... I wish that you will always be in good health and that you will grow to...

Dear B,

Tomorrow, you will be 4 years old. Tomorrow, it will be 4 years since I brought you to this world and my journey as a Mom started. It hasn't been all peaches and cream but it hasn't been all sour pickles as well. It's been a crazy roller coaster ride with more highs than low.

It's been one hell of a ride that I know I will never get off though I have moments when I want to just so I can take a rest and be recharged. However, you seem to know those moments and you would just suddenly come up to me, put your little arms around me, and give me a big kiss and hug. It reminds me of why being a Mom is one of the most rewarding feeling on earth.

This year is also the first that you'll be celebrating it with just me at your side. There's no more Daddy since he has long abandoned us and neglected his duties and responsibilities to you. Do not worry B. I am here, and as long as I am able and alive, I will never abandon you. I will always be here, even when you won't want me to. That is what a Mom is. That's what Mom's are for.

I hope you'll understand me when you grow up. I hope that even if we have fights or misunderstandings, you will remember that Mommy wants only whats best for you and what will make you happy. A college diploma is non-negotiable though.

You're so big now. You're learning to be brave (too brave coz you like jumping in 9 feet of water at the clubhouse pool) and learning new things everyday. Mommy is so proud of you. You're very sweet too. I hope that never changes. I love the hugs and kisses and when you want to sit on my lap ... its the sweetest thing ever.

I know I'm not the best Mom; far from it actually. I am trying though. I hope its good enough for you. I really do. I love you B.

I always will, no matter what.

Dear B, Tomorrow, you will be 4 years old. Tomorrow, it will be 4 years since I brought you to this world and my journey as a Mom started....

their boat leaving the competition behind the family shot the wacky one 1st place as always with their plaque As always, w...

MY FARM this is J's farm this is K's farm this is my Mom's farm this is B's farm Can you guess which o...

There's something I just recently discovered which has added joy to my milk drinking sessions with B and K. It's this Sipahh milk flavoring straws. I love it. It really tastes so good and lets you save up since you can buy just about the cheapest fresh milk and when you use this as a straw, it turns the milk into strawberry, vanilla, or chocolate flavor. B and K loves it, I do as well.

Mom's should really let their kids try it. It's YUM-O!

There's something I just recently discovered which has added joy to my milk drinking sessions with B and K. It's this Sipahh milk f...

This makes me laugh. OMG! This is just crazy. Hahahahahaha ....

This makes me laugh. OMG! This is just crazy. Hahahahahaha ....

what B wrote B posing with the board Mama Thel and Nana Lyn gave him with my real student, K B showing off again Weekday afternoon...

Its raining heavily outside, the wind is gushing and wrapping me in its embrace. I feel comforted and safe. I know that there are people w...