Wednesday, January 30, 2008


"Today, I know the deepest level that I am. I am an incredible Woman!

"I am bratty, sensitive, touchy, pouty, moody, fearless, reckless, careless, rageful, feisty, controlling, demanding, blunt, rough, outrageous, bitchy, daring, obsessive, tactless, vain, extravagant, flirty, a tease, extremely lustful, ridiculous, a mistress, and a wondrous woman to myself most of the time.

"But I am also loving, caring, affectionate, thoughtful, hardworking, organized, neat, hilarious, playful, fabulous, genuine, unforgettable, fascinating, captivating, fashionable, alluring, stunning, a friend, a listener, a model, a goddess, a celebrity, a singer, an actress, an aunt, a sister, a mother, a girlfriend, a role-playing wife, a baby.

"The greatest learning of my life is that it is fine by me to be despised for who I truly am than to be adored for who I really am not.

"I have learned to love myself and love others and need to be loved in return.

"Love reigns!

"Love is the very reason I am living my life to the fullest, for loving overcomes the most fearful, unexplainable and unexpected."

*** this is borrowed from Gretchen Baretto ... the most misunderstood star ... now I know why I like you ... its because your words are my words ...

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

beginnings ...

an old chapter ends but a new one will begin ... hopefully real soon ... we mustn't look back for right in front of us will be a brighter picture Ü

This is what's in my YM status now for this is what I feel about my life ... work life specifically. For over a year I have worked so hard in building my credibility and character and in one fell swoop, things changed. It made me think back and do some soul searching ... and it made me realize. They are not my life. They are not even important. Yes, work is a means to an end but its not everything. I have bent over backwards trying to please people and changing their opinion of me when in fact, its a losing battle right from the start.

People will never think of me in another way because they don't want to see me as someone better. People will never give me a chance because to do so would mean that they were wrong. People will never admit that I have changed because that would mean I've beaten them by becoming someone better. No matter how good I become, no matter how much I've improved, no matter what I do, did not do, changed, did not change, I will always be what they perceived me to be.

Why even bother then? I bother for myself, for my family, and for my REAL friends. For anyone else, let them think whatever they want to think. Let them see me as for what they want me to be. I am me, I know who I am, and I am proud of what I have become; mistakes and all.