Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Nuvali ...

breakfast at McDo
the view
love the early morning
when I say jump, you say how high ...
feeding again ...
with my little boy
the boat ride
feeding the Koi fishes
I feel pretty .. oh so pretty ...
model? hahahaha
@ Starbucks Nuvali ...
yang chow fried rice, beef broccoli, sweet and sour pork ... cold cuts ...
@ David's Tea House
the NUVALI shot
my turn ...

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

I am not ready

I never asked you
to fall for me
to care for me
to love me

I never wanted you
to be with me
to talk to me
to make me your world.

I never requested
that you give me things
that you take me out
that you fall in love this much.

I am not ready.
I don't know when I will be ready
if I will be ready
if I want to be ready.

I am not ready.

My heart is still in pieces
the tears are still being shed
the armors are up
the walls all built around me.

I am not ready.

I do not want to break you
but I am not ready.

bonding with the ladies at ATC

It was a lot of fun. We chatted, talked about boys (LOL) and dresses. We went there to get the perfect dress and ended up with great shoes. LOL!

Monday, June 28, 2010

Sunday, June 27, 2010

blue rose, slippers, and a bear

I guess when you're given something like this as a way of asking for forgiveness, all you can do is forgive right?

Friday, June 25, 2010

what it feels like for a girl

yellow roses to cheer me up and some chocolates from Bizu
the cake

and some more artworks ...

Interesting ....

Thursday, June 24, 2010

fallin' alone

i felt myself falling
i thought it was safe
i thought you'd catch me

so i fell
crashed on hard concrete
it was cold

and i lay broken
like a rag doll
that was discarded

because when i thought you were falling
it was just me
fallin' alone.

just a dream

a smile
a glance
my heart slammed

could it be
is it you
is this a joke

i stole a glance
i saw a smile
the world stopped

it is you ...
how can this be
why here, why now

i reached out
wanting to touch you
wanting to know

what could have been
what might have been

then you were gone
and i woke up
you were just a dream
you will always be
just a dream

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

greenbelt date with B

and the collection is complete
eating tostillas
having some ice cream from Gelatissimo
with Auntie Sherlyn
my new mushroom stuff toy

I had a blast with my son today. We went to GB5, Landmark, and Glorietta. My feet are dead and aching but it was so worth it. We ate at Chilli's, had ice cream, and then drive thru at McDo. He got a new toy and I got a new stuff toy.

Great day!

dear B

You were barely a year old in this photo ... now, you are turning 5 this July already. How time flies ... I barely turned my back and you are no longer a baby. Earlier, we were both on our laptops and you just got up and came over to hug me. I cherish moments like that.

I know that sometimes I easily lose my patience with you. As you are learning, Mommy is learning too ... I am learning how to be a better Mommy and how to be there for you when you need me and not be there so that you will grow up to be independent and have your own mind.

You can't be a Mama's boy though I want you to be. You are a man ... you need to have your own set of principles, and to learn to stand by your guns. I want you to be decent, God fearing, respectful of women, and forgiving. I need to teach you these things.

Sometimes, I wonder ... can I? Will I be able to? It is so scary when I imagine what will happen if I fail. I cannot fail my son. It is your future that is at stake here. It is your humanity.

Don't worry ... Mommy will do her best or die trying. I cannot promise to protect you from everything or everyone who will try to hurt you. Sometimes, I need to let them so that your character will be built. Sometimes, I need to let you fall so that you will learn how to wipe off the dirt and stand up on your own. Mommy can't always be there for you even if I would want to.

I love you B ... that, I can promise, will never change.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

bonding over nails and feet

the pink comfy chairs
the nail and foot salon
my pretty feet

And of course, the night ended with coffee ... my Mom and I will be drinking these two sachets since its something we just came across with ... we're both coffee lovers.

I loved how the afternoon went. I bonded with 2 gorgeous ladies and it was so much fun being able to treat them. Love love love!

what if?

"'What' and ‘if’ .....two words as nonthreatening as words come. But put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life: ‘What if?'..." - Letters to Juliet
What if I held on?
What if I never turned my back?
What if I stayed by your side?
What if I kissed you instead?
What if ... what if ... what if?

I have no more what ifs in my life
I have done all that I could
I have said all that needed to be said
I have done and said more than I should ...

I have no more what ifs
I have no more this and that
I only have goodbye.

Monday, June 21, 2010

I don't want to.

I sit here
wishing, hoping, praying
not believing

you came from nowhere
made your presence known
I tried to ignore you

I sigh, you go and make me smile
I cry, you're ready to make me laugh
are you real
or a figment of my imagination?

I do not want you
I do not need you
I do not believe you

yet ...

you make me smile
you make me laugh
you make me believe

I don't want to.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

daddy's girls ...

the gift and cake I bought for my Dad
with my Dad ...
he liked the gift =)
eating the cake
the other Daddy's girl

I may not have been able to spend much time with my Dad today and zero time tomorrow since I have work but I still feel happy because he liked my gift and we had time together.

Happy Father's Day Daddy! I love you!

Friday, June 18, 2010

random late night musings part 2

I've been a meantime girl in the past so many times that I have lost count of it. I think I fit perfectly into the role of a meantime girl that guys gravitate towards me and make me one without even realizing it.

I'm that girl for them ... the one they can just hang out with ... the one who listens ... the one they can make into an arm candy if needed ... the one they can pitch ideas to ... the one they would grab for coffee or a movie and know that I will probably be noisier or gobble up more drink than they could.

I am that girl. The meantime one ... the one they can be with until THE ONE comes along. Then they leave.

They all leave ... and since not a single one of them bothered to look back ... they never saw the tears falling down my face.

Secrets of the Sales Masters

Second to the last, that is me. This is the 1st honor I received from the company I am working for. It feels good to be recognized. =)

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Goodbye J ...

Today, I've totally let you go. No more pictures in my room ... no more anything to remind me of you ... and today, I've finally taken you off my list. I don't need to know what's on your mind now. I don't want to know what's happening in your life. I just don't care anymore.

Today, I finally said goodbye. It was one hell of a ride I have to say. Thank you ... for teaching me these lessons I know I will forever apply in my life.

You were right. I deserve a BETTER man. Way better. Thank you, for letting me go. Thank you.

I am now truly ready to defy gravity.

random B moments

with a new toy
sleeping like an angel
having breakfast earlier today
Sometimes, my baby just leaves me speechless with wonder. These are some of those moments.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Savory and Tom's World date

Yesterday, we spent the day at the mall since it was the last "free" day for my little sister, K. She starts school today and so we decided that we should take her out to enjoy before the grueling school year takes its toll.
They enjoyed and even my Mom did which is a lot since she was not in the best mood. I may have spent more than I should but you know what? I don't regret it. They are my family and I want them happy.