Saturday, February 28, 2009

not a girl, not yet a woman



She is so gorgeous! My lil sis is not so lil anymore ...

a gift to treasure




Here is the latest addition to my toy collection. Jollibee is the local archenemy of McDonalds here in the Philippines and they have come up with a doll collection showing costumes from the 6 different countries where Jollibee can now be found. I already have 2 out of 6 and I am about to get the 3rd one on Monday. I do wonder how I can get the other 3 since it's not in the budget. The 1st 2 are a gift from J so THANK YOU SO MUCH. Hehe.

Mwahness to your kind heart.

B: the model



This was taken an hour ago as B and I were walking inside the village. I decided to take a stroll with him to spend a bit of time, just us alone. We talked about school and going to SM and his swimming party later. Hehe. It was nice. I loved how he loved to pose for pics. I can safely say now that we won't have a problem taking his picture when he grows up. Hehe.

dealing with a 3 year old toddler


My son is the most darling little boy in this world. I come home from work and he screams "Mommy" as if he hasn't seen me in years. He would hug me and kiss me randomly for no reason. If I am still awake, he would request that I bathe him and dress him. We would dance together, sing together, play online games, and be camwhores together.

I love him to bits and pieces ....

until he starts screaming and yelling like somebody wa trying to hurt him when he does not get his way. Then I want to make him bits and pieces (this is all in my mind of course but Moms, you know what I am talking about.)

I am amazed at how a sweet lil angel can turn into a banshee like creature when he does not get his way. This means everyday, every single day, we have mini episodes of him screeching to get what he wants. He's a really smart kid but this is one lesson he seems to be having a hard time learning. No amount of screaming and crying will make him the boss. No no no. It just won't happen.
How do you deal with this? Please, tell me.
I love B but there are times I want to put him back in my tummy. Lol.

Friday, February 27, 2009

Thursday, February 26, 2009

truly over you

Today, I faced my ex for the first time after almost 4 months. He sat diagonally across me in that lil room in the baranggay hall wearing shades. First thing I noticed was that everything that he was wearing that day, from his shades, to his undershirt, long sleeves, pants, socks, and even his shoes were things I bought for him. It almost made me laugh since the reason why we were in that baranggay hall was because of money issues. Money he would not pay his sister but insisted that I pay.

It striked me as funny because what he wore were things I bought him and for a devious minute, I was tempted to tell him to strip and give me back everything that I bought him including the clothes he was wearing on his back. For a devious minute, I was tempted to lower myself to their level. But I did not.

I proved to myself one thing though. I no longer have any love for him. I felt nothing for him but pity. I pitied him for being this miserable creature on earth, I pitied him because until now, he has not found love and he will never find love. He has fooled two women and used them for their money. He will never find love because he does not know how to love and how to appreciate people who love him.

I am glad that I am rid of him. I am glad that I am no longer part of his family. They are not good people; they did not raise a good child and are even proud of it.

My 48 Confessions

1. Who was the last person to call you baby?- my Mom … lol
2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?- uhm, no …
3. Are You Single or Taken?- I am always taken.
4. Has someone ever sang a song to you?- a lot of people has ….
5. Do you play Sudoku?- erm, what’s that?
6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness would you survive?- hmm, I will make an effort but I think I won’t. Hehe.
7. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you would do?- make sure that everyone I love is out of the house and carry my impt documents and my scrapbooks.
8. Who was the last person you shared the bed with?- my son and his Nanny
9. Who do you text the most?- J. .
10. Who last said they loved you?- my Mom, my son, J .
11. What color are your eyes?- black
12. Do you like your parents?- I love my Mom.
13. Do you secretly like someone?- Nope.
14. Why did your last relationship end?- he wanted me for my money, for what I can give him, for being a trophy
15. Who was the last person you said you loved on the phone?- J
16. Favorite ex?- Ryan.
17. Where was the farthest place you traveled?- Boracay.
18. Do you like mustard?- ewwww.
19. Do you prefer to sleep or eat?- eat … its obvious with my body.
20. Do you look like your mom or dad?- hmm, they say I’m starting to look like my Mom.
21. Can you do splits?- erm, no. I can bend over backwards though and lift myself into an inverted U position.
22. What movie do you want to see right now?- Confessions of a Shopaholic.
23. What did you do for New Year's Eve?- had fun with my family.
24. Where will you be celebrating your new year's day next year?- still with my family.
25. Was your mom a cheerleader?- nope.
26. What's the last letter of your middle name?- o
27. How many hours of sleep do you get a night?- I am lucky to get 6 hours of sleep.
28. Do you like Care Bears?- YES.
29. What do you buy at the movies?- whatever I like at the moment.
30. Do you know how to play poker?- no.
31.you wear your seatbelt?- when there is one to wear, I do.
32. What do you wear to sleep?- PJ’s.
33. Anything big ever happen in your town?- there is always something happening in Manila.
34. Is your hair good?- hmm … pretty okay.
35. Is your tongue pierced?- nope.
36. Do you like Liver and Onions?- yes I do.
37. Do you like funny or serious people better?- both. It depends on my mood.
38. Ever been to L.A.?- no
39. Who is on your mind right now?- a lot of people.
40. Any plans for tonight?- work. Lol.
41. What's your favorite song at the moment?- The Past.
42. Do you hate chocolate?- I LOVE chocolates.
43. What do you and your parents fight about the most?- the fact that my Mom treats me like a kid.
44. Do you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy?- no
45. If you could have any job what would it be?- craft store owner
46. Are you easy to get along with?- not really
47. What is your favorite time of day?- night
48. Are you a generally happy person?- uh huh … hehe

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

National Eating Disorder Awareness week.

This is SO NOT SEXY! Nor is it healthy.
February 22-28 is National Eating Disorder Awareness week.

I used to be bulimic. After every meal, I would force myself to throw up. I was in high school back then. Everyone kept telling me how pretty I was and if I would only lose weight, I'd be perfect. It got to me. I got tired of hearing how pretty but fat I was.

Now, 10 years later, I am still pretty and fat. I don't care so much anymore. I'm glad I was able to get out of my bout of bulimia without ever being outed by anyone.

I know not everyone is as lucky. If you know someone who may have an eating disorder, reach out. They need you.

Monday, February 23, 2009

want my sticko!

It seems B can fend for himself by himself. Here is a shot showcasing just that. He wanted some sticko and he got some for himself, by himself. Lol.

Great job B!

Rica's 1st Bday

I just came home from one of the best children's party ever. Food was overflowing, the kids enjoyed it a lot, my B had so much fun eating the marshmallows coated with chocolate, and my lil sis had the time of her life. She took hom a lot of goodie stuff.



We go there too early so we stayed in a bakery that was stationed beside it. These are where the cupcake pics are from. It was really fun and fulfilling. Congrats Mare! The party was a success.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

post valentines post

Last Valentines, we had a two part special for it. Well 3 since I already had one. The second part was dinner with my family and the last was merienda with everyone in the house. Below are some pictures in very random order.
  1. the bag holder which is my gift to myself
  2. the puto for merienda
  3. the pansit for merienda
  4. beef steak I had at Red Kimono in West Gate Alabang
  5. the maki sampler
  6. Ate Maricel and Kianna
  7. Kianna and my brother Karl
  8. peepz in the house







It was simple but it was filled with love which is what matters most.

Friday, February 20, 2009

higher education and breeding

Once again, it was proven today that finishing college and having a degree does not equate to having breeding. As some of you are aware, the ex's family has taken me to the baranggay coz of money issues. I was willing pay my half but they wanted more. Their son is not giving child support anymore to my son and they have the audacity to ask for more money.

So today, the baranggay came over to serve a hearing notice. We chatted and they commented that the mother of my ex was peeking. I thought they meant peeking through the windows coz they are fond of doing that. Much to my surprise, when I turned around, she was literally outside her house, standing in the garden, STARING at us.

It was so freaky, so wrong, and so unethical. My Mom did not finish school but she knows what is wrong and right, and she has breeding. My ex's family all finished and has a degree but they do not have breeding. Guess it really shows that earning a degree does not mean you earn breeding as well.

top 3 things

THREE NAMES THAT FRIENDS CALL YOU:
1. Kenny
2. Kay
3. Kathy

THREE MOST IMPORTANT DATES IN YOUR LIFE:
1. July 14, 2005
2. October 30, 1980
3. September 8, 2008

THREE THINGS YOU'VE DONE IN THE LAST 30 MINUTES:
1. ate dinner
2. surfed the internet
3. watched a tv series

THREE WAYS TO BE HAPPY KAHIT SA BAHAY LANG:
1. net surfing
2. watching tv or videos
3. scrapbooking

THREE GIFTS YOU WOULD LIKE TO RECEIVE:
1. locket
2. mini notebook
3. a love letter from the one I love

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. blogging
2. scrapbooking
3. eating

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO FOR VACATION:
1. Boracay
2. Thailand
3. Greece

THREE FAVORITE DRINKS:
1. Four Seasons Shake
2. Chocolate Drinks
3. Hot White Mocha

THREE THINGS FOUND IN YOUR BAG:
1. cellphone
2. ipod
3. planner

THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
1. purple
2. blue
3. green

TOP THREE HANGOUTS:
1. Starbucks
2. Westgate
3. Town Center

TOP THREE U LOVE SO MUCH:
1. my son
2. my family
3. him

TOP THREE "THINGS" SPECIAL TO YOU:(things only)
1. my phone
2. my laptop
3. my ipod

TOP THREE THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY LATELY:
1. spending time with my family
2. spending time with him
3. reading a really good book and blogging

TOP THREE REASONS WHY YOU ANSWERED THIS SURVEY:
1. I love meme’s.
2. I wanna post something.
3. I am bored.

I am tagging Daddy Forever, Rochelle, Rachel, and Toni.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

perception deception

I just came off from a meeting at work to talk about gaps and disconnect between teams. We figured that it was really all about perceptions and first impressions. There were people who's first impression of someone was in a not so good light and it kind of stuck so that even when the other person was not doing anything wrong, all actions and words that came out came off in a bad light.

How do you overcome a perception you have of someone? Hmmm ...

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

reasons to not be eaten by the green eyed monster


I am smart. I graduated from one of the top universities and graduated on time.
I am pretty. I am not gorgeous but I am pretty.
I am charming when I want to be or need to be.
I have a good career. I work for one of the best companies and contributes to my coworker in a positive way.
I am funny. I am not always funny but I am witty.
I am interesting. I think.
I can be really sweet when I want to be.
I am loved by many.

Monday, February 16, 2009

munimuni # 32


It has been a long time since I last posted a weekend reflection. I deviated from doing so because the last few weeks have been a bit stressful and I felt like almost all my reflections would be not too nice. This week, things have taken a turn for the I don't know what. The ex's family is hounding me for more money that I should pay (take note: I am willing to pay but only the right amount.) They want more.

I am amazed at how blind I was to who they really were. The parents are plastic creatures who pretend to be nice to everyone but secretly stab them in the back once they are turned around. I should know. I listened to them gossip about these people and say bad things about them. The sister looks like Maria Clara but is the exact opposite. Different guys take her home but she never lets the ones who have a car drop her off in front of her house. If there was nothing to hide, why do you need to be dropped at the corner of your lot and then walk towards the house?
And the ex ... the ex is just worthless.

They have taken the matter of money to our local baranggay. I am apprehensive but I know that I can face them because I did not do anything wrong to any of them. I was the victim but now, I refuse to be a victim. I wonder what new thing will happen in this never ending saga.

Some things I have learned in the past few weeks:
  1. Love can be shown even without material things. Love is about spending quality time together and really making an effort for the other person.
  2. We do not become a victim by choice but we can choose to stop staying a victim.
  3. My brothers are good men. They help friends who need them and they have almost always made the right choice. Thank God.
  4. My family will always be my family no matter what.
  5. I have really good friends.
  6. My son is adorable and sweet but can be really stubborn at times.
  7. I am lucky to have a job, no matter how stressful it is.
  8. My iPod rocks.
Hope your weekend was great too.

Friday, February 13, 2009

a not so happy valentine post

Yes, this is a Valentine post. No, this is not going to be cheesy. With this valentine post, I will release all the heartaches that I have. I will let go of all the burdens in my heart for all the loves that have passed my way. So if you don’t feel reading something too emotional or heartbreaking, skip and move on to my other posts. I just have too much heartache in my heart and I want to let go by verbalizing them. Maybe if I write it, the pain will die a bit.

To MVU – You were my first boyfriend. You didn’t treat me right at first because you were just using me to make your first love jealous. Yet, I was okay with it because it was the first time I fell in love. I thought that my love would make you change your mind. My 1st Valentines with you sucked. You played Somebody over and over again because it was your theme song with her. You enjoyed hurting me. I was foolish enough to let you hurt me. Eventually, I broke up with you and you realized that you loved me and not her. We got back together and everything was okay. Except looking back now, I realized you were a control freak, obsessive, and you made sure that my world revolved just around you. You gave me chocolates every week which I thought was sweet but the reason you gave me chocolates was because you wanted me fat so no one else would court me.

I was happy with you. I was in love for the first time in my life and I felt happy. I had almost no friends because you wanted to keep me to yourself but it was okay. When we broke up, my world crumbled. I couldn’t believe that you fell for her again. I was the girl that you wanted me to be and yet, I was not good enough. You pursued me again for 6 months but I refused to get back with you. I was too hurt. You got back with her to hurt me and prove to me that you can replace me. That shattered me. So much.

It took me two years to really get over you. I promised that this will never happen again. It hasn’t. I hope it never will.

To PW – Our love could never be. No one will ever approve. No one will ever say yes to us. I had to let go.

To KM – You led me on. You made me believe that you liked me, that you cared for me. I don’t know why you did that to me. I was stupid to have fallen for you. I still resent you for it because I do not understand why you did what you did.

To JPM – For almost two years, you were the wind that blew my way. You were the wind that caressed me and comforted me when I was down. I thought this was it. I thought that it was you and I, that it was forever for us. I thought wrong. Even magic could not hold us together when it was the thing that brought us to be with each other in the first place. I was your weaver and you were my wind.

You were good to me. Things just fell apart when you made a fool of me with my own best friend. All I asked was to be informed if there was something. You chose to disregard it and even had the audacity to ask that the three of us hang out together like old times, except she’s the girlfriend now and I am the friend.

When you guys broke up, I felt vindicated.

To RS – You are probably the only guy who did not hurt me, yet, I know that you are the one guy I hurt the most. Isn’t life ironic? You were sweet, romantic, thoughtful. You placed me before anything else in your life. I was number 1 and the only 1. You would sacrifice your pride to save our relationship.

I was just a foolish girl back then who did not know what she had and could not handle being loved that way. You don’t know this but I have been wishing for another you to appear in my life. No luck till now.

To JB – You came at a time that I was broken. You said that you would stay no matter what. You said that I could never push you away. You said that this was it. You may not have meant to lie. You may have meant it at the time you were talking about it but I know that you no longer mean it. No guarantees. You have been breaking my heart one piece at a time. I don’t know if it will survive. I don’t know if it should survive. I am lost. I want to believe in love again but I know I shouldn't. No guarantees.

To RA – You are my karma. You are the worst thing that has ever happened to me. The love I gave you, you did not deserve even a single ounce. You did not love me. You used me; for whatever purpose, I do not know. You love only yourself. It’s all about you, your needs, your demands, your wants, your desires.

You cheated on me. You introduced your girlfriend to me. You give me flowers and expect me to be okay immediately; like cheating on me when I was the one making a living for us was okay. You hit me, and then in the next minute kiss me and say sorry. Then you blame me. “Ikaw kasi e.” You told me that no one else will ever want me. You told me that no one else will have me. You told me that you haven’t slept with me for some time because I am fat and ugly. You told me how can you love me when I look like the way I looked. You pushed me off the edge of the bed when I was 5 months pregnant. You pushed me again and threatened to burn down the house when I was 8 months pregnant. You always threaten to leave me. I always begged. You made me kneel and I did. I begged; because I love you.

You cheated on me again. Phone bills were really high but you never called me; you were calling her. My own Mom saw you sneaking out when I'm sleeping so you could chat with her at the corner of our house. You wouldn’t come home at times and when you do, you’d tell me you spend the night at a motel. You force me to do things that I do not want. You force me to perform thing I do not want to do. You humiliated me in front of your family, your relatives, and our friends and I thought it was my fault because you kept saying it was my fault.

Slowly, you were able to do what no one else could, not even my own father. You made me doubt myself. You made me believe that yes, I am not worth loving. You made me think that maybe, I did do something to deserve being treated that way. After all, you were Mr. Nice Guy in the office and I was this bitch who couldn’t bother to smile at everyone. You stripped me of my self confidence. I felt I was not worth anything.

You broke me. I no longer know if I can ever be mended. I push away people I love and people who love me because irrationally, I believe you. I believe that no one will ever want me, or love me, or stick with me. How can they when the father of my own child did not? How can they when the guy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with treated my like dirt?

I am broken. I do not know if I will ever mend.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

no guarantees

Today, someone told me that the only thing guaranteed in life is death. Aside from that, there is nothing that can be guaranteed. It broke my heart.

I also have to disagree. There are other things that can be guaranteed in life in my world.
  1. a mother's love for her child
  2. friendship
  3. my love
  4. hope and faith
  5. God
It saddens me that there are people who don't believe that love can last amidst all the pain and sadness. I came from a bad relationship wherein the only reason I left was because he was physically hurting me and had intimate relationships with other woman and was darn proud of it. IMO, guys like that don't deserve my love.

Yes, I feel tired from time to time. Yes, I may give up but I will never leave. I only leave when there is nothing to hold on to anymore.

I am just heartbroken right now. So much for Valentines huh?

why I am loveable


I am sweet.
I am charming.
I am caring.
I am loving.
I am understanding.
I never get tired.
I am open minded.
I am frank.
I am cuddly.
I love the person for who he is.

- according to J. =p

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

a tragedy ...

A coworker's daughter passed away yesterday morning. The daughter was only 12 years old and seemed healthy. From what I know, the kid complained of aching feet, passed out, and never woke up. I cannot imagine the pain my coworker is going through right now.

A line from the Lord of the Rings movie comes to mind with this event and in any situation where the child passes away before his parents.

No parent should have to bury their child.

I, as a parent, know that this is true. This is the most painful thing that a parent will ever go through. I hope that my coworker will be strong enough to surpass this. I pray that she will be able to survive this.

B's drawings ....




Can you guess what they are? =p

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

proud mommy moment: B writing the alphabet


B and I were lying in bed earlier today with me doing FB and him just pestering me. I thought of asking him to trace letters so he would stop bugging me and he agreed. Nanny J then got his paper and pencil and I traced the letters A - E. I told him to copy or trace it. Much to my surprise, he wrote the letters F, H, I, L, O, P, S, T, U, V, and W on his own.

Can you believe that? My B has not had any formal schooling and is only 3 years old. OMG! He is so good at this writing thing. I am going to post pictures tomorrow so you can all see what I am talking about but I just had to share it with you.

I am such a proud Mommy right now. =p

Monday, February 9, 2009

still going strong ....


Happy anniversarry Uncle Eric and Tita Lyn!

One Word Meme

Where is your cell phone? Desk.
Your significant other? Adjusting.
Your hair? Oily.
Your mother? Complex.
Your father? Worthless.
Your favorite thing? Phone.
Your dream last night? Forgetful.
Your favorite drink? Coffee.
Your dream/goal? Peace.
What room are you in? Living.
Your hobby? Blogging.
Your fear? Dying.
Where do you want to be in 6 Yrs? Travelling.
Where were you last night? Facebook.
Something that you aren't? Courageous.
Muffins? Strawberry.
Wish list item? Locket.
Last thing you did? Eat.
What are you wearing? Jammies.
TV? Disney.
Your pets? Combination.
Friends? Fabulous.
Your life? Improving.
Your mood? Swinging.
Missing someone? Family.
Drinking? No.
Smoking? Sometimes.
Your car? None.
Something you're not wearing? Watch.
Your favorite store? Bookstore.
Your favorite color? Purple.
When is the last time you cried? Saturday.
Where do you go over and over? Office.
My favorite place to eat? NorthPark.
Favorite place I'd like to be right now? Coffeeshop.

You! Tagged!

movie marathon weekend


This weekend, I just watched movies on my laptop. Yep, 3 movies if I remember correctly. I also got to spend a bit of time with my son with the prerequisite wanting to strangle him moments which of course I will never really do. Lol.

I watched Bride Wars, American Gangster, and Marley and Me. I liked them all. Touching, poignant, and endearing in their own ways. American Gangster was a bit too violent but then again, it is a gangster film. I'd be worried if there were hearts and flowers on it.

We stayed at home and did not go out for lack of a budget but it felt nice; what really mattered was that we were all together you know. I fixed our room and now have speakers for my iPod. I also downloaded the ENTIRE HM1, 2, and 3 soundtrack for my lil sister. She wasn't feeling well and we took pity on her which is pretty rare since she's the youngest. Hehe ...

Hope everyone's weekend was just as lovely and that this week will be light for all of us. Vday is pretty near. Whether you have someone special or not, there is someone out there who loves you. Seriously. =)

Sunday, February 8, 2009

planning my planner

Here is my trusty Starbucks planner which I have been diligently filling out every single day with thoughts and of course, schedules and tasks. I love how RED it is and I most especially love my uber chic feathery ballpen which I got from Bohemian Nation. It is so cool. Hehe ...

Just sharing ...

Saturday, February 7, 2009

why do we always hurt the ones we love


We need to remember this.

It is only the people we love who can truly hurt us, for when we love them, we give them the power to hurt us. It is but unfortunate if they abuse that, for our hearts would then be crushed over and over again until a time comes that you no longer feel anything. When you become numb, it means that you no longer love them and only then can you really move on.
This is why we hurt the people who love us and we hurt the ones we love. Sad but true.

all about my firstborn (not that there's a second one. Lol)

1. WAS YOUR FIRST PREGNANCY PLANNED? Nope, it wasn't.

2. WERE YOU MARRIED AT THE TIME? No

3. WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS? plain scared ...

4. WAS ABORTION AN OPTION FOR YOU? Nope.

5. HOW OLD WERE YOU? 24.

6. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT? I was late for 3 days and I'm regular.

7. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST? The Dad. After 1 month, I massed text peepz I wanted to know.

8. DID YOU WANT TO FIND OUT THE SEX? Yes.

9. DUE DATE? July 4, 2005

10. DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS? Rarely.

11. WHAT DID YOU CRAVE? Powedered milk combined with condensed milk. I know, eewww right.

12. WHO/WHAT IRRITATED YOU THE MOST? The Dad.

13. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CHILD'S SEX? Male

14. DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX OF WHAT YOU WERE GETTING? Kinda. I wanted a girl coz they're like lil Barbie dolls but I wouldn't trade my son for anyone or anything now.

15. HOW MANY POUNDS DID YOU GAIN THROUGHOUT THE PREGNANCY?60 lbs. I kept eating condensed milk and powdered milk. I don't know why.

16. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER? No ... boohoo ... if I get pregnant next time, there has to be one ... calling all my friends! This is not a request but an order ... lol!

17. WAS IT A SURPRISE OR DID YOU KNOW?N/A

18. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS DURING YOUR PREGNANCY? thankfully, non

19. WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH? Cebu Doctors

20. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOR? 13 hours.

21. WHO DROVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL? The Dad and a Nanny.

22. WHO WATCHED YOU GIVE BIRTH? The Dad.

23. WAS IT NATURAL OR C-SECTION? god-awful Natural ...

24. DID YOU TAKE MEDICINE TO EASE THE PAIN? I had an epidural at 9cm. Lol.

27. HOW MUCH DID YOUR CHILD WEIGH? 6.3lbs.

28. WHEN WAS YOUR CHILD ACTUALLY BORN? July 14, 2005

30. WHAT DID YOU NAME HIM/HER? B

Friday, February 6, 2009

top 5 most hurtful statements ever said to me

#5 - Ndi na kita mahal. (I don't love you anymore.) This was said to me by H when he and I had a fight.

# 4 - As if naman may papatol sayo e ang pangit pangit mo na at ang taba taba. (As if anyone would sleep with you, you're ugly and fat now.) Said to me by H when I found out he was cheating on me.

# 3 - Ndi ka ba makapaghintay? Palibhasa atat ka e. (Can you not wait? You're way too excited.) Said to me by a guy coz I wanted to see him at least twice a week.

# 2 - Masyado ka kasing clingy. (You're too clingy.) - Same guy for the same reason.

# 1 - You're not worth loving. No one will ever love you. - Said to me by my Dad when I did something he did not approve of.

It seems that the most hurtful words came from men that I deeply loved and cared for. =(

25 things about me

1) I can listen to Meatloaf’s I Would Do Anything For Love the whole day as well as It’s All Coming Back to Me Now by Celine Dion and not tire of it.

2) I am a fan of Pablo Neruda but do not own any of his books. I simply melt reading “I Crave” “Tonight I Can Write the Saddest Lines” and “I Do not Love You.”

3) I feel giddy when I receive roses even if its from someone I do not like; what more if its from my love one. I’m a romantic at heart. Love letters and roses are the best. Lockets are forever.

4) I have been on the quest for the perfect bag, shopping online and looking at stores. I finally found it … in my Mom’s closet. Lol.

5) The tip of my tongue can touch the tip of my nose. Beat that!

6) I have the entire Starbucks planner collection since the first time it started. Yes, I am a Starbucks addict.

7) I fall in love easily but once I do, its hard for me to let go. When I do let go, there’s no turning back.

8) I am still a teen at heart. Balloons, cotton candy, kitchy items make me feel good.

9) I love seafood, chicken, and chocolates. I eat too much of these.

10) I love cheesy, romantic films. Even the Tagalog ones.

11) I scrapbook. I have over 10 scrapbooks already so if you see someone folding a paper thing from a resto or fast food joint and taking an unused tissue with the resto’s name on it … that’s probably me since I will place that in my scrapbook.

12) I always prioritize people even if I am just an option to them. Hopefully, when I’m gone, they will realize my worth. For now, I can just hide the pain of being an option. So long as they are happy, I’ll be fine.

13) I have big feet. It’s hard to maintain nice feet IMO but its needed or else people will go eeewwwww.

14) I almost have no hair in my body. I get cold easily. I will not survive the snow so thank God I’m in the Philippines.

15) I love the CARE BEARS. Anything care bears, I accept. Start donating, NOW!

16) I have always wanted a jewelry box with that dancing swan, ballerina, horse, or couple. I refuse to buy one though. I want it as a gift. Hint people, hint!

17) I once sang You Won’t See Me Crying in a duet with a guy who led me on. Talk about song of the moment. This was back in college and we had to perform this song in front of the class. Trust me, it took all my acting abilities to not burst into tears.

18) If there is a small hole on the floor, anything that would make me trip, my feet will find it. Sigh sigh sigh.

19) I cry easily. I don’t look like it, but I am a major crybaby.

20) I can finish a pint of ice cream in one sitting and down 4 cartons of Cowhead in one go.

21) I can down 17 shots of tequila and vodka and still be tipsy at most.

22) I have the complete collection (almost) of the Sweet Valley Series. Kids, teens, middle school, high, university, super edition, so on and so forth.

23) A multi awarded actor who has received acting awards in Brussels who is now a councilor almost courted me when I was 17, save for the fact that my Mom turned witchy on him.

24) I am allergic to sea bass. We found out when an owner of a resto chain treated me to dinner and I had allergies.

25) I once donned a semi afro look and still looked good. Teehee.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

tribute to the ladies: the 6 men to avoid

This is from this article written by a guy.

1. Rebound Guy

Knowing how bummed I’ve been since my ex Claudia left for Europe, my buddy tried to set me up with his “hot coworker.” Very kind of him, but I declined. With my heart stuck in international customs, there’s no way I could make a connection. Not that I wasn’t tempted. We men secretly hope we’ll never have to deal with our feelings and instead can “fix” our sadness with a new woman. Problem is, we’re always comparing her to the ex—how she is in bed, how her butt looks in jeans. Real mature stuff that you’d be wise to avoid by dating us after we’ve healed.

2. Disappearing Guy

Some seemingly normal guys have a bad habit of vanishing. Excuses like “work’s really busy” may be true, but there’s often something else going on. My old roommate tried to woo his new girlfriend while still dating his old one. I also know someone who told a woman he was single in New York, although he was married in Ohio. Both guys checked out for days at a time.

When you’re just starting to date, it’s not like you’re tracking a person’s every movement. Still, the giveaway is erratic contact—is he in touch every day and then suddenly MIA? Does he often cancel plans? Or does he suddenly want to meet up in an hour, after not calling all week? Beware.

3. Slick Guy

With his sporty car, high-tech cell phone and Swedish designer toothbrush, my college roommate managed to hide his insecurity behind hip stuff. He never let women get close for fear they’d find him out. So women wound up feeling rejected when he was the one who sucked.

My advice: If his life looks like a magazine spread, steer clear. Say what you will about the guy who has a painting of poker-playing dogs or a mountain of laundry, but I promise you this: He’s real.

4. Rude Guy

I’m amazed at what men get away with. A partial list of nasty moves I’ve witnessed: checking out the waitress, fiddling with a BlackBerry during dinner, asking the cute bartender for her number when his date is in the bathroom. If a man lets the door slam shut instead of opening it for you, make that all the closure you need.

5. Grabby Guy

Hands on thighs, stroking things that didn’t ask to be stroked, sexual innuendos when you barely know each other—he may try to explain these things with an “Oh, I’m so attracted to you I can’t help it” line. But no matter how smokin’ hot you are, he can help it. And if you’re not getting the respect you want early on, he probably won’t surprise you with it later.

6. Last Year’s Guy

Long nights and a fear of being single forever can make going back to an ex seem mighty attractive. I’ve been guilty of it twice, both during lonely times in the dead of winter. Recycling romance seemed far easier than the unknown, and it was...for the two months before we rediscovered exactly why we broke up in the first place. What’s the lesson here? Move forward, not back. And know that it’s better to be out there looking than stuck on a couch with some guy you’re just going to wind up dumping anyway. He might be happy, but you deserve more.

*** and my own personal thing ... the serial monogamist. Think george Clooney. He never has a relationship that lasts more than a year. He is in love with the idea of falling in love. Once it stabilizes, then he's out the door to fall in love with someone new.

So ladies, know who to avoid this Valentines day. Lol.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

meet me halfway

I realized something the other day. In almost all of my relationships, I never really made it a point to meet the guy halfway. It was always about my demands, my wants, my needs, my desires. It was all me, me, me. The thought of giving way rarely crossed my mind and would disappear just as quickly.

Having gotten out of a 3 year relationship wherein it was completely opposite of what I was used to, I wanted to revert to my old ways. I thought that since giving in all the time did not work so well, I should just be the brat that I was before. It would be all about me, me, and me once more.

A friend of mine spoke to me about this. This friend told me that to make things work, there is a need to compromise, to meet halfway. This stopped me. This friend told me that maybe the reason why all my past relatioships failed was because it was they either give in to all my whims or I give in to all their whims. It was an either or. It was never about meeting halfway.

I think my friend is right. I think I will give this meet me halfway thing a chance. After all, I really have nothing to lose. What's another heartache compared to the possiblity of a happily ever after?

Monday, February 2, 2009

Bohemian Nation

I found this quaint shop in WestGate Alabang and the finds there are really affordable but really one of a kind. It's called Bohemian Nation and they have a furniture and jewelry store, a salon, a spa, and a coffee shop. It is so cool .I love it. I actually got some stuff and gave it as a gift to someone who would love it. Hehe. Here are some pics. It's very Asian bdw, Tibet and India inspired.