Thursday, April 30, 2009

Litratong Pinoy # 4: Tulay

Kuha ito sa company outing ng aming kumpanya. Nagustuhan ko ang tulay na ito sapagkat parang wala siyang katapusan. Napapagitnaan din ito ng tubig kung kaya't anyong lumulutang ito. Napakaganda ng tanawin mula sa tulay na ito. Sana maisama ko ang aking mga mahal sa buhay rito.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009


This is what I am right now. I function and go about my tasks. I do my job as I am supposed to. I go about life but I am so broken.

I don't know if I can be whole again.

Monday, April 27, 2009

collage of B's photos

I have recently learned to create collages of photos and its been really rewarding in my opinion. I love how the photos look so good together eventhough they were taken on different dates and different events. At one glance, I can see how B has grown and changed the way he looks. I've done the same for my family and someone and each and every single one has made me smile.

It feels pretty good creating something simple like this. Simple, but rewarding.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

munimuni # 38

This week has been a bit challenging since we are house hunting because the son of the owner of the house we are renting wants the house we are in. It used to look really run down but my Mom weaved her magic and made this house very pleasant and nice so he wants it now. Pretty shitty in my opinion but then again, its his parent's house.

My Mom has been in panic since she wants to move before May ends in time for school since it starts in June. I kinda hate the owner of the house right now for what they are doing to my Mom but KARMA baby, it will bite back.

There has been a lot of drama involved as well due to pettiness which I need to address and fix. As they say, understanding and not being too petty are pretty important factors. I need to learn these things.

Now, focusing on the good things ... the twins won another medal for their Dragonboat thingie. Great job twins! And we went to a Jollibee party with B and K. It was fun and even the adults had fun. =) Below are pictures!

The twins posing with their team after winning in the dragonboat competition! Hip hip HOORAY!

This is their medal which is of course with my Mom now. Hehe.

This is B, trying on a mask but it won't fit his little face so you can't see the eyes.

This is K, looking gorgeous in her mask. =)

Some of the Berks (Marie, Marielle, Cheska, and Jess)

(the rowdy boys posing in front of the tarp! Bost, Kris, Jojo, and John Rey)

Hope your week will be good. I hope mine will be drama free and please, please pray that we get to find a house real soon! Thanks!

Saturday, April 25, 2009

SPH # 20: Protect(ion)

Living in a tropical country, we are used to the heat but not to the cold. When we visited Baguio, the coldest place in the Philippines, my Mom and lil sister made sure that they are well protected from the cold. Look at how bundled up they are. Lol.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

my own SecretZen

I found this new site, SecretZen, and I love it. It inspired me to create my own photocard.

Litratong Pinoy # 3: Gusali

Hindi ito ang tipikal na gusali na makikita natin sa syudad ngunit gusto ko ang gusali na ito sapagkat nakakakalma ang larawan na ito. Nakakakalma tumigil at tingnan ang ganitong gusali sapagkat ang tubig ay walang tigil sa pagdaloy at nakalugar ito sa tabi ng dagat.
Hiling ko lamang ay magkaroo ng ganitong pag aari sa aking pagtanda.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

happy birthday Arny!

I know I have not been as grateful as I should have been but now, I wanna say THANK YOU.

You are an angel in disguise. I wish you true love and true happiness.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Sunday, April 19, 2009

my brother: the potterholic

He looks happy no? Hehe ... Just wanted to share.

less is more

I realize something. When I don't demand, I get what I want.

Weird no?

See, I have this ugly characteristic. I am very, very demanding. I demand things and when I do, I expect it to happen. I get mad when it doesn't happen. I get very spiteful when it doesn't.

Lately though, I have learned to not demand so much. I am learning to not demand actually. And you know what? It's more effective. I realized that when I don't force people, when they get to do what they want, they tend to want to see me more, to be with me more.

I guess its true what they say; less is more. =)

Flashdance ... flash in a pan

I bought a DVD of this movie because I heard so many good things about it from movie critics and movie buffs (I'm a film major.) So early this morning, I spent it watching Flashdance and really looking forward to being blown away.

I was blown away, with boredom. Save for the dance scenes which were not even that fantastic, the movie was lacking in almost everything. Cinematography was dead, the script was ho-hum, and the acting leaves a lot to be desired. The story should have been moving since its about struggling about self esteem and reaching for your dreams but ... it was just really ho-hum.

I am so disappointed. Grrrr ....

Saturday, April 18, 2009

jumping off a cliff

This is how I feel right now. I feel like I am standing on the edge of a cliff and I am about to jump but since I have an irrational fear of heights, my feet are somewhat glued to the ground and there are people behind me chanting, telling me to jump and one of them is on the verge of pushing me over the edge but for some reason, my feet are stuck to the ground.
The weird thing in this picture is that I do want to jump off the cliff. I really do. But its been so long that I've nurtured my feelings of fear that it is such a struggle for me to actually make it happen. I know that when I jump off this cliff, I will be free of so many emotional baggages that I carry with me. I know that if I jump off this cliff, someone will catch me. Still, my feet are stuck to the ground.
How do I know that someone will catch me? How do I know that it will be worth it? How do I know this and that? So many questions and the answer to it all remains the same. I don't really know. I just have to TRUST.
So here I am, standing on the edge of this cliff. Can I do it? I really hope so. I really, really hope so.
What do you think?

Friday, April 17, 2009

5 places that are on my to visit list

Here are a list of the 5 places that I want to visit outside my country if I have the money. Surprisingly, the US of A did not make it.

1. Barcelona, Spain
2. Venice, Italy
3. Santorini, Greece
4. London
5. Carribean

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

freaking sweltering heat

It is way too hot, even for the Philippines. It is way to hot. I can't even sleep anymore since I sweat immediately with very small movements. Mind you, I do not sweat easily. Argh!
I am so not liking the sweltering Manila heat. It is too much.

Monday, April 13, 2009

push away

I pushed you away
not becauese I did not believe you
but because I did not believe in me
I pushed you away
not because I did not trust you
but because I had no faith in me
I couldn't believe there was someone like you
who loves me for me
who accepts me for me
I couldn't believe there was someone like you
who thinks that I am worth loving
who feels that I am worth keeping
and so I pushed you away ...
*** This is for someone who tried to teach me that love is real. I didn't believe. I thought that all men were scum like my ex. And now ... it might be too late. =(

you keep pushing me away ...

When you've hurt someone you love deeply, and you're on the verge of pushing that person away, how do you make it up and how do you pull that person back? How do you heal someone else when you yourself are still hurting from the scars that you received from a previous battle? How do you love someone when you don't know if you are worth loving?

Can someone tell me?

Sunday, April 12, 2009

munimuni # 37

This week was pretty eventful. A lot of things happened and a lot of realizations came to mind. It's been a year without Mark now but there are still moments where you feel the emptiness especially when the group gets together and you realize, there is that one person missing and will always be missing.

Coz of this, I try to make the most out of the times that I have with my family and love ones. I maximize the time I have with them because again, we do not really know until when we will be here or when they will be with us. As good as it is to imagine that we will all be together forever, this is just not the case.

I also realized that when two heated heads clashed, no matter how much love there is, you will hurt each other. I don't know what it is with people that we just hurt the people we love without really good reason. Why do we do that?

Lastly, I realized that family and the people who accept you and love you are the ones that only matter in this world. Nothing else matters. They are the ones you need to value, you need to spend time on, and the ones you should listen to.

So to everyone, kiss that person you love. Tell your family and friends you love them. NOW. Don't wait another day. Don't wait another moment. There might not be any so do it now. Now is the only time that matters. Nothing else.

Most Creative Bunny: my li sis, K!

posing before the event
with our Mom and the Bunny mascot
the competition
the winners (K, most creative; the pink rabbit was the cutest, and the blue one was wackiest)
showing off her certificate for winning Php5,000 SM GC
Today, I am dead tired. I woke up way too early. I made up my sister coz she had a contest that she joined. We entered her into the most colorful bunny costume. The prize was Php5,000 which was pretty big for a costume contest for kids.
K had lots of fun and my Mom of course was a proud Mom. I was proud too but tired, really tired. Lol.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

A Reason, A Season, a Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are.

They are there for the reason, you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
When people come into your life for a
SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people any way; and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Summer Outing 2009

my Mom posing in front of the scenery
the ever present family pictures
K and J buried in the sand
B playing in the water

We went to the beach yesterday to relax and soak in some sun. Some people, unfortunately, soaked in too much sun and our now suffering from sunburn. Lol.

Anyway, were supposed to go to Triple G Resort originally but found it not to to our taste as they had a lot of people drinking beer left and right. Their beach was also swamped with way, way too many people. It reminded us of a pigsty so we walked further along the shoreline till we found the White Cove which was homey, cozy, and very nice.

We had fun and I even swam in the beach. Teehee. It was really cool. We had fun and we were dead tired by nighttime. It was a good day, well spent with people that I love.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

one year without Mark

Yesterday, we went to Golden Haven because it has been a year since Mark left us. Last year, I wrote about what happened. This year, the pain has dulled a lil bit but the missing him part is still the same. We look at their group and know that it will forever lack one little kid.
This is a picture we took with him. Yes, there he is, laid on the ground, forever at peace. We know that he was with us, though not physically.
I just wanna say, I love you Mark. You will always be my little brother.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

for now ...

There's forever. There is eternity. There is after life. There is beyond this life.

Then, there is for now.

It's crazy I know. It's all false hope and illusions whenever we promise love to one another, love that will last forever, for eternity, after life, and beyond this life. For now is more realistic, its more tangible. For now should be good enough. It should be.

It's not. For me, it will never be good enough.

I am a hopeless romantic. Even after all the heartbreaks that I have been through, I still believe that a love that can surpass anything exists. I believe that as long as both parties are willing to work on things, as long as both parties want that forever, it will happen.

It takes two to tango and one to end the dance. A relationship crumples when one doesn't believe that it will work, when one isn't sure that it will work out. A relationship, for it to work, the two people involve needs to believe that it will work, that they can talk anything out and compromise to make things work.

If this wasn't true, then no one would reach 25, 50, or even 75 years of being married to the same person. If this wasn't true, the great love stories will not be written for there would be no inspiration to get it from.

I hope I find my eternity. I just can't settle for "for now."

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

finally! running water

We finally have running water in our house. This makes me so happy because I love taking showers. There is just something different about using a shower when you take a bath as opposed to using a pail and a bucket to pour water over your head. I feel cleaner and just a wee bit more sexy. Lol. Crazy huh?

Maybe its just me. Maybe, not.

the green eyed monster

If the scenario above happened and I happen to be the girl not holding the champagne glass and the guy is MY guy, trust me, the other girl would be super refreshed since I would pour the content of the glass on her head.
Yep, I am that jealous. I've never caused a scene nor made a scandal. This is one thing I am most proud of. I am an insanely jealous woman but I have never created a scene. I know how to keep my emotions in check even when the ex introduced me to his girlfriend while he and I were still together. I have that much self control.
Still ... even I am amazed at how petty and jealous I can be when I am in love with someone. Everyone suddenly becomes the enemy. Of course this is all in my head and I maintain my charming and pretty veneer but I doubt almost all girls save for my friends.
I get jealous when some girls sends an SMS. I get jealous when someone makes a comment on a status or a photo. I get jealous when I see my guy talking to a girl I don't know. I get jealous when lil details are wrong since it makes me think that maybe something happened somewhere with someone that I am not aware of.
It's probably because I feel that since I am inlove with this man, who wouldn't be? Crazy right? That's how I am when I am in love. I make the guy I am with feel like he is a king, like he is the most loved and cared for man in the world. In turn, I get insanely jealous when there is someone else in the picture.
It's wrong I know. Good thing there is an antidote to my jealousy and its constant and endless reassurance. Sometimes it gets tiring for the guy so I need someone who will never tire of reassuring me. Really, this is just what I need.
Constant and endless reassurance.

Monday, April 6, 2009

the guy that I wished for

I once made a wish. I wished that I would meet this one guy, this one guy that would love me for who I am, who would not make a fool of me, who would stay with me no matter what. I wished that he would be sweet and thoughtful, that he would value me for what I am worth and more.

I wished for this guy one night, not knowing if it will come true or not.

Days passed by and life went on. Life as I knew it was the same. I wake up, do what needs to be done, and sleep afterwards. I forgot about my wish as life happened.

One day. I received a private message from someone. Let's call him WALL-E. He made a comment about a post I made and looked really cute in his pic. Out of boredom and because I was feeling shallow that day, I decided to reply and give him my number which I rarely do. I thought, if he turned out really ugly or whatever, I can just ignore him.

He started sending text messages. Lots of it. He was persistent. There were things about him that I learned which made him undesirable in my eyes and so I brushed him off. It did not work.

One day, I decided, maybe if he saw me at my ugliest, he'll back off. I met up with him. I met up with him and looked like trash. I wore loose clothing, did not have make up on, and my hair was in disarray. First thing he said to me upon seeing me, "Wow! You're pretty!"


He continued pursuing and I tried to dodge. I became bitchy, catty, nasty, and just plain rude. It did not work.

Eventually I realized he was what I was wishing for. He was this one guy that would love me for who I am, who would not make a fool of me, who would stay with me no matter what. He was sweet and thoughtful, and he valued me for what I was worth and more.

He was my wish granted. It seems wishes do come true.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

munimuni # 36

This week has been crazy for me. It was full of highs and lows. Monday was pretty boring and then Tuesday kicked in and everything went crazy. I had tonsilitis, ulcer, and bodyaches. It was really, really bad. I suffered from it till Thursday. I had hot water bottles pressed to my tummy and white flower oil drizzled on my stomach. It was that bad.

Now, when I feel a teeny tiny bit hungry, I panic and get food. I will never, ever starve myself again for whatever reason. It's crazy.

I got the chance to hang out with some family friends whom I have not seen for some time. It was funny updating them of what was happening in my life now. I'm glad we were able to catch up.

I also met up with some really old friends. Jacq has been my high school friend and Neil, the last time I saw him was 10 years ago. Lol. It's that long. It was fun and we were able to catch up a lil bit. I hope to see more of them in the future.

Lastly, the week ended with my little sister garnering 2nd honor awards at her school. Beauty and brains! Beat that! =) And my other lil brother is still in the running for Magna cum Laude and the other one is already doing his thesis. Wish them luck and blessings guys.

So there goes my week in a nutshell. It was filled with lessons about not abusing health and catching up with friends and family. So blessed.