Saturday, May 31, 2008

my pet dog

This is our pet dog. She is one spoiled, obese brat. Lol! We love her to bits and pieces but she can be pretty annoying sometimes. They say a lot of people treat their pets like they would their kids. Some even say that before you have a kid of your own, you should get a pet first to see if you can take care of it. If not, don't even bother having a kid. I have to agree on this one. Having a pet entails responsibility, something most people are not equipped with sadly.

Do you have a pet?

Friday, May 30, 2008

queen bee of the nerds

You know how it is in high school and at times even in college there are these cliques that people tend to be in or pushed into? Some would be "lucky" that they end up in the cool or in crowd while others are placed in limbo or worst, the loser crowd. These are just facts of life and most of the time, people tend to survive it.

I was not part of this. I was neither a loser nor one of the cool kids. I was somewhere in the middle. I was a cheerleader, volleyball varsity player, team captain of the debating team, host for school programs, president of the chorale, star actress of the drama club, choreographer, and part of the top ten in class. I was an extreme and nobody really knew where to place me.

Eventually, I became a queen bee. Known for putting down people simply because they crossed my path and did not hit me the right way. Then I became a peer counselor and a La Sallian brother, giving advice for those who were unfortunate enough to have met queen bee's who made their lives miserable. Through all these, the nerd in me fostered and thrived on reading and watching shows like Nat Geo and the like.

I guess I was pretty lucky. I was neither this or that alone but always a combination of things. In some ways, I was able to see both sides of the spectrum. In some ways, I was able to lead a double life which enabled me to be a better person.

What were you like in high school?

Thursday, May 29, 2008

fear smear

Do you fear anything in life? I fear a lot of things. I fear the following:
  • roaches (eewww, gross, really really gross)
  • spiders ... I feel so freaked out when I see them.
  • snakes (need I even say more?)
  • heights ... I really have an irrational fear of heights ... when the car goes up on a flyover, I can't even look over the view coz I feel like I'm going to fall off.
  • attending a funeral (been to one once in my life, don't ever want to repeat that experience.)
  • death (there are still so many things I need to finish that I just don't feel ready yet.)
  • failing as a Mom to my B
I spoke to someone who claims that he does not fear anything. For some reason, I felt bad for him. I think that in life, we need to be able to fear something, fear getting our heart broken or loving someone. Fear lets you live. It gives you the chance to improve yourself when you fear failing. It makes you appreciate life more when you fear dying. It just lets you live.
Not fearing anything leaves you with no sense of life or desire to achieve someone. Not fearing anything leaves you empty. You don't worry about anything, therefore, you don't care about anything coz even if things get screwed over, you're okay. This is why its important to fear.
So, what do you fear?

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

skydiving without a parachute

I read in another blog how people are into lists and all and I realized, "Hey! I'm one of those people." So here is my first list which was inspired by an IM conversation earlier in the day. A friend of mine was trying to think of ways to make a girl fall in love with him and he kind of wanted to make sure that whatever he has planned will work. This is sheer perseverance so I thought might as well help him out right?

Here goes. Oh, if you have anything to add to the list, please let me know.

1) Smile everytime you see the person. It warms the heart and you want the other person to associate you with happiness, not gloom and doom.

2) Compliment. It works wonder when said with sincerity.

3) Flowers wouldn't hurt or getting something that you know the other person really likes, craves, wishes for, or collects (this part needs some serious research.)

4) Surprise her; in a good way of course, not the stalker kind of way or creepy mister following her wherever she is. This would surely send her running in the opposite direction.

5) Get her her comfort food when she feels stressed or sad. That would show you really care.

6) Go out of your way. Get out of your comfort zone. This will show you are willing to try new things and will keep her interested.

So there. That's all I can think of for now. Happy falling!
*** Just make sure someone catches you. It could be messy otherwise.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Clutter Smutter

I love de-cluttering my house, especially my room. It feels so relaxing and almost all the time, it leads me right down to memory lane. It's a wonder how a single piece of paper or a photo can invoke wonderful memories, memories to make you smile or even giggle a bit. At times, its also more than enough to leave you feeling empty when you realize that there were friendships lost or hearts broken because of trivial things.

I love how it makes you feel when you find a lost treasure or when you come across something that you have completely forgotten about. It makes you wonder how something that seemed so priceless then seems completely insignificant now.

What lost treasure have you found lately?

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

make a wish

Make a wish.

Hold it close to your heart ...
Do you have it?
Now believe in it.
What did you wish for?

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Wifely Steps Journal Contest

One of my favorite bloggers, Toni, is holding a contest to celebrate her 5th year wedding anniversary to H. She decided that she will be giving away journals and some other stuff to commemorate it as well. Rules are below.

1. Write about your favorite Wifely Steps entry in your blog. (If you don’t have a blog, why not create one now? )
2. Link back to
3. Leave a comment in this entry, leading to your post.

One of my favorite post was the let's have tea together post. It was just really relaxing and the message behind the post was something that really made me think hours after I've read it. It was just so poignant. If you are in the mood for some really good reads, head over to Wifely Steps. You won't regret it.
*** For those interested to help in the Sichuan Earthquake, please see this.

Monday, May 19, 2008

office politics

Don't you just love how consistent things are at times? No matter where you go, no matter what country, there are things that you can count on. The sun rising in the morning, the sun setting in the evening, a kid being born every minute somewhere in the world, someone dying in a part of the world, and office politics. Yep, you read that right. I've been to over 4 companies and it never fails. There is and there always will be office politics. I don't get it. Did we not outgrew this whole clique thing and left it behind in high school? The whole we are this and you are not, therefore, you are a loser. Sheesh. I can't believe that everywhere, not a single office has been spared of this mentality.

Has your workplace been spared?

*** image from Dilbert

Saturday, May 17, 2008

measurement of success

Just finished a conversation with my Mother. She really is a strong woman. I cannot believe how she lasted 29 years with my psychopath of a father. Anyway, she and I were talking about one of the conovoluted ideas that my father has of success. For my Dad, success is when you are so rich that you can afford to buy what you want and still have more than enough money in the bank.

I don't agree. I know some people will agree and they probably have their reasons but I disagree for the following reasons. Money is a huge deal. I will admit that. Still, money is not so huge as to be the end all and be all of things. Money just can't cut it.

Success for me is when you die, there will be people who would say that you made a difference in their life. Success for me is when you are gone, people will miss you for you, not for what you have given them or the money you hand out when they visit you.

Sure, they may need you but they need you for the wrong reasons. That just isn't good enough. Success is more than the material things that someone can own. Sure, it would be really nice to have what you want in a whim but nothing beats working hard for something. The achievement that you feel when you finally get it tops everything.

I feel sad for him. I feel sad for him coz he will never be happy. Yes, he may have a nice car, millions in the bank, a company that's the best in this continent ... but at the end of the day, when people are getting ready for bed to go to sleep ... there will be no one there for him. There will be no one to tuck him in, to lay down beside him, or even to ask him how his day was. At the end of the day, the success that he so much treasures can be a very lonely companion.

I call that a failure.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

no regrets

They say that you should live life with no regrets, that there should be no what if's or if only in your life and if you accomplish that, then your life was lived and it was a life worth living. I doubt that there are many people who are in this scenario. I know I'm not and that there are several what if's in my life that I think about from time to time.

See, I look like I'm really nasty and snobbish but I'm more of a softie inside. I also tend to be a coward most of the time when it concerns my own feelings and emotions. I'm the type of person who would rather keep mum about her feelings and not say anything simply because I'm not sure if the other person feels the same way too. The other time, we both felt the same way but we've been friends for so long that we just didn't want to risk the friendship anymore.

Another regret of mine is not having a relationship with my father. I know that its not only his fault but mine as well. I regret that I did not have the courage, strength, nor perseverance to just keep wanting to be his daughter through all the rejection he gave.

There are many things that I still regret, that belong to my what if's and if only ... I accept that. I can deal with that. Its part of my life and part of who I am now. One thing I will never let happen though is to wonder what it would be like to have a good relationship with my son. That will never be a what if coz I will make sure that my son knows that I love him and that I will be there for him no matter what.

What are your what if's in life?

Saturday, May 10, 2008

A Meme: Image Tag

Thanks Len for tagging me.

Image Tag Instructions:
1. Go to Photobucket or Google Image search.
2. Type in your answer in the "search" box
3. Use only the first page [of results]
4. Insert the picture in your blog.
Here goes:

1. What is your relationship status?

2. What is your current mood?

3. Who is your favorite band / artist?

4. What is your favorite movie/s?

5. What kind of pet/s do you have?

6. Where do you live?

7. Where do you work?

8. What do you look like?

9. What do you drive?

10. What did you do last night?

11. What is your favorite TV show?

12. Describe yourself

13. What are you doing today?

14. What is your name?

15. What is your favorite candy?

Friday, May 9, 2008

7 things to heaven or hell

We had a meeting the other day to discuss any open item that there was in the office. Facilitator was one of the big bosses and he was asked this question. How do you strike a work-life balance? See, our company is known as one of those companies that would own you. Yes, the pay is really good and the benefits are amazing but people would always say that the company would own you. You will not have any other life except work.

I refused to believe that and its been 2 months that I've been here and I''m happy to say that I've rendered a long OT only once and 3 minor ones (an hour.) I make it a point to go home on the dot and finish what I need to in the 9 hours allotted to me.

Going back to the officer, I wondered how he would respond since he is a known workaholic who is still online and working 7 hours after his shift. What he answered has been on my mind ever since.

He said that at this stage in his life, he did not really need the quantity of time anymore but the quality. And so, to make sure that this happens despite his crazy schedule, there are 7 things that he does to keep the peace in the family going. If he doesn't do all 7 in a week, then he will be punished. Here are his 7 things.
  • go to church every Thursday and Sunday
  • spend two hours a week playing solely with his son
  • spend one morning with his wife having breakfast (just the two of them)
  • spend Saturday at the Village Market and have lunch with his family ther
  • have breakfast with his family's son and take a stroll in the park after
  • have dinner with his family and not bring his blackberry
  • go home at 8am once a week
Pretty cool huh? It may seem little but if during those times, he focuses on his family only, I know that I'll be happy with that as well. I wish more men would be like this.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

I don't want to be anything anymore

.... other than me.

When I was in grade school, most of my friends would always ask where my father was? I would always tell them that he was busy, or away on a trip, or on a business meeting. He was never there during the times that he was supposed to be. You know, the dances at school, the mini presentation, the little talks with the teacher that both parents are supposed to meet to check up how their kid are doing. He was never there.

During Father's Day, its always been hard for me to pick a card. See, most cards would say something about how their Dad has helped them with homework, given them wonderful advices, took them home from a party, or held them when they were crying due to a broken heart. I did not have that with my Dad and so it was really hard for me to choose a card for him. I have to opt for something that said a mere thank you coz that was all he deserved. A simple thank you for bringing me to this world.

When I was in high school, people would ask where my Dad was. I would say again the same lies but slowly, I realized that I shouldn't lie anymore. So I started telling the truth that we were his second family and was not really worth his time. I had this momentuous epiphany. We were asked to fill out a form for our guidance counsellor and underneath the parents choices, there were MARRIED, SEPARATED, and LIVING TOGETHER. Unfortunately, my parents are neither of the choices given below. So being the smart aleck that I was, I created another option which was OTHERS. I got called to the counsellor's office and was asked why I created OTHERS. So I had to explain and they felt sorry for me.

When I was in college, my classmates would wonder why it was during presentation, I would always talk about my Mom but never my Dad. I was more straightforward in saying that my Dad was too busy to make anytime to be in my life. Still, there was the part of me wanting to still pretend that maybe someday, a miracle will happen. Someday, he will stand up and realize that he misses us his kids and will want to be a better part of our life.

Now, I have my own kid. I still pretended for a time that maybe, just maybe, I will be his daughter. Maybe, just maybe, he will be a father. I hoped that one day, he will walk me to the altar. I hoped that one day, he will be proud of me.

I finally realized though that I don't want to be anything anymore but me. It's all going to be me. I refuse to be his daughter now as much as he refuses to be a Dad. He's not worth it. He never was a father except for the money he gave to get us to school. He never was a father. He never will be. I accept that now. No father will ever want what he wanted for us which is to be destroyed simply because we did not turn out the way he wanted us to be.

So thank you. Thank you for making me realize that I don't need your approval. Thank you for making me realize that I do not need you to be proud of me. I know that I am okay. I know that other Dad's would be proud to have a daughter like me. I don't need you. I never will. I'm so glad that my son will never know you. He doesn't need a grandfather like you. So thank you.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

guilty as charged

Yesterday, some of my coworkers and I decided to have coffee after our shift. It was a bit of a grueling weekend and so we all decided that we deserved a break. So we were there and we were all having a laugh when I felt the need to pee. So I told them that I would be leaving my backpack and other stuff since it was too heavy to lug around (what with the laptop and executive notebopk.) Upon coming back, they were all laughing and then one said. "Kay, how come you have rolls of small tissues here?"

So there. I was busted. The truth was laid on the table.

I am a hoarder. Yes, you read that right. I am a true blue hoarder. I am pretty sure that its not just Filipinos who do it since I read in other blogs and money saving tips that you can save by hoarding. What do I mean about this? Well, let me give you a scenario.

Say I was at McDonald's and I order a meal. It comes with french fries and 2 packets of ketchup. I would always ask for 2 more and then I would take home the 3 that I have.Why??? Well, I can make use of it at home. This is especially wonderful during celebrations at home. Instead of the ketchup bottle or holder going around in circles, one guest forever lost trying to get to it, they can all just go through my hoarding basket and get a packet.

Pretty smart huh? Hehe ... and I know of a lot of people who do the same, including men. In fact, I had a male coworker before who had soy sauce packets, calamansi packets, sweet and sour packets, sugar, and ketchup in a plastic container. When we asked him what it was for, he said that it was more convenient and it saves money.

So, are you guilty of hoarding too?

Thursday, May 1, 2008

the best thing about being a Mom

The best thing about being a Mom is that you are not just a Mom. You are the light in your child's life. You will be the one to guide him and ensure that he knows what is right from wrong. You are his teacher. You will be the one to show him what life is all about and how to survive in the real world. You are his companion. You will be there for him when he discovers new things and share in his excitement about the wonders of Mother Nature. You are his buddy. You will be the one he can share secrets with and tell his hops and dreams. You are his safe haven. When no one else understands him and he feels that life has cheated him, you will be there to lend your shoulder to cry on and help him stand up once more. You are his talent manager. You will nurture his skills and let him grow up to be what he is meant to be. You will nourish his passion and allow him to be fickle minded until he finds out what his desires are. You are his pillow and blanket at night. When something frightens him, you will be the one he will run to and expect to banish the monster under the bed. You are Superman. You will be the one to look for that missing ball in that 1 acre of land he was playing in. You will use your Bionic eyes just to find it. You are his worst enemy. You will make sure that he is in line and does not fall into the bottomless pit of alcohol and drugs. You are his best friend. You will cover for him when needed but you will also tell him what he did wrong and that it won’t fly in the future.

We are a lot of things for our child. We can be anything that our child needs us to be. We are not just Mommy or Nanay or Inay. This is the best thing about being a Mom.

* contest from this free mother's day photo session contest of ging lorenzo.