I used to be one of those women who had absolutely no time to meet someone in real life. I was busy working and building my career and when I wasn't busy doing that, I had to spend time with my son, family, or friends.
Dating was just too hard. It requires too much time, too much effort, and to much creativity. I just couldn't be bothered.
This is why when a friend offered to register me to dating apps, I agreed. He told me that it wouldn't require much of my time, is also effortless, and will allow me to filter easily. I thought to myself, "I can browse through it during traffic." It would be so convenient and for an introvert like myself, it would be such a blessing because I won't have to face someone. You see, my fear of rejection is quite strong, both in doing it and in being the receiver.
Some people think that dating sites isn't a good idea but I beg to differ. With the right mindset, online dating can actually be a blessing. Here are a few ways to maximize dating apps and its many benefits especially for those hoping to find true love.
1. You can filter as much as you want.
Dating sites allows you to browse, scroll, swipe left and right to your hearts content. The other person will not know that you have rejected them and no one will know how many people you have swiped left on.
We all need to admit that physical attraction is almost always the first factor when choosing to date someone. It is only after this hurdle has been overcome that we look at their other characteristics and what not.
2. You can get to know a lot of people all at the same time without having to commit to anyone for the time being.
In real life, when you get to know someone by dating them, there is a need to declare if you are dating exclusively or not. Most of the time, when you tell people it's not exclusive, they immediately lose interest because you come off as a player.
When you get to know someone online, there's less of a need to commit and be exclusive. After all, you are simply chatting at this phase and messaging. Since you have not met in real life, the need to go exclusive is not yet on the table.
3. Dating sites cost less than dating the traditional way.
Since almost everyone nowadays is too busy, they want to get to know people right away and cut down to the chase. Most of the time, when you avail of free dating sites, you can actually have a list of things you like in a person and things you can deal without.
When you do this the traditional way, you need to spend for coffee dates and if the next 10 girls or guys you meet turn out to be a dud, it can be quite costly. If you get to know them via dating sites first, you can easily get rid of the ones who do not share the same value, interest, hobbies, or those who give off a creepy vibe.
4. It can actually be safer than being set up on blind dates.
You know how they say that most victims of rape are victimized by people they actually know? It's a fact. When you meet someone online, there are actually red flags you can watch out for so you can avoid meeting a creep, stalker, or weirdo.
People always have a tell so just make sure you spot the other person's language online and see how they react when you disagree with them, don't give in to photo requests, or shut down their opinion. You can also check to see if they could be a potential stalker if they are too clingy or demanding.
Always trust your instincts and when you do meet with someone you met online, send copies of their photo to friends, inform people of where the meet up will be, and make sure to do it during brunch or lunch. It's always better to be safe than sorry.
If you are like me who is too busy for traditional dating, I'd recommend dating sites. As with anything, be smart, be safe, and continue the hope that one day, you will meet THE ONE.