you don't know this ...


You don’t know this …


Ever since I found out about her, its haunted me. You say that she doesn’t matter anymore, that she never mattered but I just can’t seem to believe it. Things you did for her just contradicts the things you say about here. It doesn’t add up. I may not be good at math but I can add and when I do, 1 + 1 just not equal 2 in your case.

You don’t know this …

I pretend to be okay now. I pretend that it doesn’t bother me when her name leaves your lips. I pretend that I’m over it. I pretend that I’m okay to see her, talk to her, face her. I’m not. I don’t think I’ll ever be. I pretend that she doesn’t matter as well but she does. For some reason, she does. It may have been over long before we met but it still bothers me. I don't know why.

You don’t know this …

I want to believe that we’re okay … that we’ll be okay. Something nags me at the back of my mind and says no. It scares me. Sometimes, I find myself not thinking of you. Sometimes, I feel that I’m used to not having you around. I worry that you may feel the same.

You don’t know this …

I hope you never do.

PS. 
FM and I are okay. This was merely some random thought that passed by my brain while listening to sad music. We are going strong and very much okay. MWAH! Thanks for all the concern. :) I feel the love. 

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5 comments:

  1. A woman's intuition is often than not always right.

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    1. That girl has been out of the picture for quite some time. It's my insecurity coz of my past that haunts me but trust me, FM has never given me a reason to be insecure. :) Thanks.

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  2. Oh wow... you just put my old feelings into words. This is exactly how I felt years back.

    I met my husband 4 years after his divorce (he married in college --- a stupid mistake, he'd say..but still). The two of them remained good friends but I got bothered and somewhat hurt everytime I heard him utter her name. I just couldn't explain it.

    Years passed and all my worries were wiped away naman. He never failed to show me how much he adores me. And I can confidently say now that I'm the love of his life.

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