do you love me?

As you were driving me home last night, you asked me if I believed that you loved me and I answered you with a yes. Admittedly, I paused and did not answer immediately but this was more out of habit than a reflection of you. I realized that I CHOSE to believe that you love me and this is something that I will have to own up to.

I chose to believe because to doubt you would be to doubt our relationship. What we have is already complicated enough that if I added even a sprinkle of doubt, it just might collapse on its head and take down both of us with it. Besides, I need to believe in what we have because that belief alone will help us get through obstacles and challenges that we will face in the future.

Do you love me? I believe that yes you do because you exert massive efforts to be with me. You are happy enough just having coffee with me and talking. You are also okay with being late for your basketball games when I know for a fact that it is your first love and that at times, you most likely love basketball more than you love me. You hate serious talks and yet when I request for it, you indulge me because you know it matters to me.

Do you love me? I feel that you do. I feel it when you don’t make false promises to me. I feel it when you are honest with me even if the truth may hurt me. I feel it when you don’t respond I love you just because I said that I love you. I feel it when you get mad at me because I wore something too revealing or skimpy. I feel it when you get hurt that you can’t be there for me no matter how much you want because it just isn’t possible.

Do you love me? I know that you do. I know you love me when you whisper out of the blue that you love me. I know you love me when all of a sudden you just blurt it out, without any warning whatsoever that it almost always catches me off guard. I know you loved me when you rushed to my aid in gym clothes and all because I got sick. I know you loved me when you get this look of happiness and contentment on your face when we’re talking. I know you love me when you touch the side of my face and simply gaze at me. I know you love me when you call me “My Bella.”

Do you really love me? Perhaps you do, perhaps you don’t. Maybe this is something real and maybe this is just your way of passing time. In all honesty, I wouldn’t really know if this is a game or not. However, I choose to believe that you do love me simply because I see it, I feel it, and I know that you are a good person. Also, you’d have to be a complete sociopath to exert so much effort and time to spend with me and not have this be real.