Thursday, July 23, 2015

a perfect day

It started with you telling me that where we go today didn't matter, all you wanted was for us to spend time together. The tone was set and I knew exactly what we needed to do. I didn't choose it consciously but we re-enacted our first 3 dates. I think we did it without intending to because it was during these 3 dates that our fate started becoming intertwined.

When we got to our first destination for the day, I handed you my gift. The way your eyes lit up when you first used it, it will be embedded in my head. You looked so happy with it. The way you thanked me, I knew you loved it. However, you had a small surprise for me as well. You asked me to listen to a song and while I was listening to it, you were singing to me as well. "You by Basil Valdez." When you were singing it to me, I was falling in love with you all over again. 

We had coffee at Starbucks. There were moments I would talk and talk and you would just be staring at me and I would get this feeling that you're not really listening but simply staring at me. I don't know what you're thinking. Sometimes, I like to think that you're marveling at the fact that we are together or you're happy that you are with me. I really don't know what's going on in your head whenever I catch you simply staring at me. These are the moments that I wish I could read your mind.

We talked. You finally allowed me a look into your life. Yes, a look, not just a glimpse. I felt so happy that I am finally seeing sides of you and I didn't even have to ask. You just shared. It is a wondrous feeling to know that maybe, just maybe, you are starting to let down some of your walls.

We didn't realize it but hours had already passed. We were just sitting there and talking, enjoying the moments between us and the fact that we were together. Nothing fancy just like what you said.

After, we went to our safe place. You asked me to sing you a song and it was "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing." I obliged. I realized at this point that you will miss me, us. I realized that it was affecting you just as much as it was affecting me and you were simply trying to be strong perhaps for both our sake. I hugged you tight and didn't say a word. I hope that through holding you in my arms I was able to comfort you.

Lastly, we went to Mystic Brew. This was where we first had our date. I still remember it clearly. You got lost and when you finally arrived, you were sweatin' and I wasn't impressed. I had no idea that you would make more than an impression in my life.

You handed me a box. You said that this was the gift that you have been wanting to give me. It broke my heart a little because I remember you said that you would only give me this on our last day together before you leave. This was it.

However when I opened it, my heart was swept over with love. You seemed anxious and worried that I wouldn't like it. DINGBAT. How could I not love this? This is the most exquisite gift that I have ever received.

It is simply beautiful. I can't believe that this was your gift for me. I felt special, very special.

My gift of music seemed to have paled in comparison to this but I know that you love your music as well so I hope you'll enjoy your Spotify Premium and earphones just as much as I will enjoy writing using these. It's amazing. We both gifted each other with things that we know the other would enjoy. Guess its that kind of love between the two of us.

And just like that, the night was ending. I still had a surprise for you though. You see, I knew that you wanted to see me perform and I knew I could make it happen so unknown to you, I planned it with friends. Thankfully, they were all artists and romantics so they agreed to help me out.

I had the table where we had our first date reserved. They even put a small vase of flowers to gave it a romantic feel which you just found funny. My silly bear. After dinner, my friend finally arrived and without even talking, he knew that we were to play out a scene where he "pretends" to call me and force me to sing. Unfortunately he gave you a clue when he said that the music was for you because you were leaving.

Singing in front of you was nervewracking. I was so nervous. What if you hated the attention and walked out? What if you didn't like how I sang? What if I open my mouth and nothing comes out or worse, I am severely off key? What if I choke in the middle of singing? Fortunately, none of these happened.

I sang you 3 songs and I could see you giving me that look you give me when you're staring at me when we're talking. I saw the small smile playing on your lips. I saw you clap after every song. Most importantly, I saw that you were happy.

Mission accomplished.

We walked to my house. We did this because when we had our first date, you asked if you could walk me to my house. This time around though, I wanted more time with you and so after we dropped off my things, I asked to go back to your car and have 5 more minutes with you. I almost cried there but was able to stop myself.

When you said "enough. This is going to make it hard for me." I know that I had to stop. I had to stop before I became too emotional. You see, I didn't want to add more burden to the heaviness you must be feeling. Like what I would always say, I love you in the way that I just want you to be happy.

"Till we meet again." This is what we said to each other. No goodbye. It is not goodbye. We will see each other again. No tears. I went down your car and watched you drive away. I promised to myself that I will not cry ... in front of you that is. Soon as your car left my sight, the tears fell. You told me to not cry but I cannot do that.

The love of my life is leaving and it will be months before I see you again and hold you in my arms. It hurts. It hurts so much. However, I promise that I will use the sadness to be more creative, to be better in my work and in my business, and to push me to be a much better person so that when we see each other again, you would be reminded of the woman that you fell in love with albeit a much better version of who I am.

We had a perfect day. The coming months, it won't be perfect but WE ARE WORTH IT. You told me you didn't believe in long distance and so I asked you why you wanted to have one with me and you said, "I felt that what we have, its worth a shot."

I disagree. We are worth more than a shot. WE ARE WORTH IT. 

I love you my Bear. Please stay safe. And remember, CHOOSE US. Your Bella's heart is in your hands. Choose not to break it.

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Hi! Let's all try to add more positivity in this world and adhere to the saying, "if you don't have anything nice to say, keep silent."

Showering you with unicorn poop so you'd always stay magical! Heart heart!