I just want a baby ...

This is something that I often hear from my single lady friends. They would casually throw out that they just want to have a baby and that they don't need a father because they are sure they are quite capable of raising the kid on their own.

To this I say, and pardon me, "Screw you!"

You don't know shit about having a baby. If you think that having enough money and maternal instinct is enough, I tell you IT IS NOT! Any parent would agree with me on this.



It takes a village to raise a child. This quote exists for a reason. You, by your lonesome self, would never be enough. It would make do but nothing can beat having both parents with you. If the choice was taken away, then of course you need to do everything you can to fill two shoes. I would applaud you if this were the case but to make that choice consciously if just plain wrong. This, I would gladly hit you over and over again.

Just in case, here are a few things that you may not be aware of when you are a single Mom. I am a single Mom and I can tell you that this is what I regularly encounter.

1. Explaining where the Dad is. You may think that you are not obliged to explain to anyone why your kid does not have a father but guess what, you are! You owe it to your kid and eventually, you will need to explain to the teachers, the school, and the other parents.

2. Arts. Yes, art projects can become a pain. My son was recently asked to create a family tree and I had to explain why the father side did not have any "fruits" at all. It was painful, it was stressful, and it left a hollow feeling. It's also hard to explain why the family tree of his classmates had a complete set while his was lacking. Luckily for me, B did not ask this because he's mature for his age. Still, I know time will come he will ask. I dread that day.

3. The stares. Yes dear, the stares still exist. In this day and age where you'd expect people to be more accepting and open to single parents, the stare still exist. You know that stare. You've probably given it yourself when you were younger. The condescending or pitiful stare that says "what an unfortunate incident."

These are just a few things that I am able to think of right now. I just get so insulted and riled up when I hear single women say that they want to be single mom's because they "can." It is an insult to all single mothers who are single mom's not by choice but because fate intervened  and made it so.

I am a single Mom and I am proud of it. However, I would still tell people that being a whole family is still the best way to go ... granted of course that the two parents are indeed a true unit who love and respect each other.

You say, "I just want a baby." In time, your kid would say, "but Mom, I just want a Daddy."

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11 comments:

  1. hi sis! new pinaymom blogger here =)

    someone said that single moms are one of the strongest people on earth. I just confirmed it. =)

    just a piece of advice sis, boys need a father figure so in the future, they will know how to be a good father to their own families and how to act like a real man. Fatherhood kasi cannot be taught in school, they just observe it from the father figures they have. A father figure can be your dad, uncle, friend etc. Hope I contributed something. God bless! =)

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  2. Hey achie kay, sorry if you had to go through all of this. But rest assured that you are a very strong single mom, and I can really see that you've done an excellent job raising B.. :) I hope your single friends realize how hard it is to be a mom, let alone be a single mom.

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  3. different life perspective as i should say, but ideally having a baby and raising him/her needs a father and a mother as much as possible :)

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  4. yey! raise your glass to all single moms! i'm a single mom, too... i used to deal with the same problems that you mentioned, but i'm just glad that my son has grown up to be such a open-minded person. his questions about his dad are no longer asked, drawing families in art projects consist of me, my mom and my brother. and as for the stares, deadma na. i'm pretty sure the one staring at me is far less perfect than me. to each is own, i believe i have become a better person because i've been a mom, regardless if married or not. ^_^

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  5. yey! raise your glass to all single moms! i'm a single mom, too... i used to deal with the same problems that you mentioned, but i'm just glad that my son has grown up to be such a open-minded person. his questions about his dad are no longer asked, drawing families in art projects consist of me, my mom and my brother. and as for the stares, deadma na. i'm pretty sure the one staring at me is far less perfect than me. to each is own, i believe i have become a better person because i've been a mom, regardless if married or not. ^_^

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  6. OMG, I'm sorry Mommy Kay, but I used to be like this when I was in college! :) Blame it on the man-hating rampage women have after a break-up.

    My mom is also a single mom, so I do understand what you mean. I know that you will still be a good mommy and daddy to your son, even if your partner's not around. :)

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  7. I think it all boils down to selfish thinking...although I'm guilty of this one at times :)

    Ang hirap kaya ng ganyang situation back as a child, especially if you have atribida and usiserong classmates who would even tease you. hay naku!

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  8. What a brave woman you are, sis! Cheers to you and to all single moms. Your job is not a joke. Truly, one tough mom.

    God bless!

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  9. I admire single moms and mothers who did a good job in raising their kids. I could not imagine how challenging it is. All the sleepless nights... all the sacrifice.

    I, however, admit that I am no mother material. People (like me) who are way too selfish and vain will make terrible parents.

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