Everyone who has read my blog especially the last 2 years knows that I went through that phase of being this pathetic, sniveling woman who ran after the guy who dumped her when the going got tough and blamed everything on herself. Looking back, yes I had my share of the problem but now I realized that if he really did love, like truly love me, he wouldn't have left.
Love does not fail. Love understands. Love PERSEVERES.
He did not persevere. He left when I needed him most. He left when I was at the worst period of my life. He left and he never looked back.
This statement would have hurt me before. It would have left me crying, wondering, and wanting to call him and ask "why?" Now, I no longer feel the need to. I still don't know why but I don't care to know anymore.
I heard "Just Give Me a Reason" the other day and it no longer affected me. I listened to "After Us" and where it used to make me break down in tears, I felt nothing now. I saw pictures of him and imagined him with a girl and I just felt a little sadness that it was no longer me but also a sense of relief that he may have finally found someone to replace me in his life, for real.
I really hope he finds someone to take seriously and not just sleep with or date.
The last time we saw each other, we simply talked about my dating and other men. Yeah. it sounds funny and weird because there I was, talking to the man who I wanted to marry for the longest time and we were discussing my dating dilemmas concerning another man. This, I believe, was the point I realized that I got over him.
From being a guy I dated, to being my boyfriend, then to the guy I wanted to marry, the guy I ran after for 1.5 years, and now, to being a good friend ... I have finally come full circle with the funny man. Now I can say I have moved on.