the filler ...

I used to call myself the  meantime girl ... and someone told me that I shouldn't call myself that. I realized that he was right ... I wasn't a meantime girl. I am more of a filler. I fill whatever is missing in a guy's life. If they miss having a companion, I am that. If they miss having a movie buddy, I am that. If they need someone to talk to, be smart, and laugh at their jokes, I am that as well. If they need someone to flatter their bruised ego, then I'm there.

I'm a filler. And sometimes, these guys make me feel special ... sometimes, they make me feel like I matter ... and sometimes, I believe them.

And so, when I stop filling whatever is needed to be filled ... and when they stop making me feel like I am special ... when they stop caring ... I need to pretend that I don't hurt.

After all, I am just a filler.