Sometimes you put up walls
not just to protect yourself
but to also see
who cares enough to tear it down.
Today, two people told me that I always have my defenses up. One told me that I need to learn to trust and just let things flow. The other, after telling me he reads my blog because he's that interested (and me keeping quiet) told me that I have my walls up again. I said it wasn't true but I realized after I put the phone down that he was right. I do have it up.
I don't know. Somewhere between March and now, whenever I hear something nice from a guy, whenever I feel a semblance of sweetness in a guy (and I think he may be serious), it just goes up. I can't help it. It's become a habit. One I am planning on keeping.
I need to. I will never let anyone get close. I can't afford it. I can't afford to hurt again and again and again. Even just a possibility, I will quelch. I just can't do it anymore.
So yes JD, that guy who plans to get close will have to tear down these walls. Unfortunately for whoever it is, these walls are made of titanium. It can't be crushed nor tore down.