I've been spending time with B lately and we've been having random conversations. It got to a point that I realized that some of the words of wisdom that I impart to him are actually lessons that I also needed to learn.
Just this morning B came up to me and said that K grabbed his hand and squeezed it hard. He was near tears because it hurt. He was also upset because K did not apologize. I pondered for a minute and told B, "Sometimes, there will be people who will hurt us and they won't say sorry. It could be because they did not realize they have hurt us or if they did, they do not care. We need to forgive them still. We need to do this for ourselves, not for them. If they eventually apologize or not, at least, we have already forgiven them and moved on."
Lesson # 1 I realized that this was something that I need to also apply to myself. It wasn't something that I could just tell B and expect him to do. I had to live by this creed. Used to be, I would demand an apology. It really mattered to me to hear the words "Sorry." Now, I've realized that even if a person says he is sorry, but the actions don't show it, it won't matter. Sorry is worthless if not followed through with actions. However, actions that show one is contrite bears more weight than a mere sorry.
Lesson # 2 came in the form of B yelling at a friend of his because the friend wouldn't follow him. I realized that he got it from me and that it was simply wrong. Now, I don't scream at B anymore or yell at him. I explain things and I tell him why its not allowed or get him to realize why its a no. When I feel frustrated, I count to 10 and back if need be.
Lesson # 3 was in the form of simply accepting things as they are. We were discussing something and I asked him if he thought the situation was what it really was. He answered, "Yes." It was so simple, so matter of fact that I realized, if a kid can understand things just like that, why can't I accept situations to be just like that? So from now on, I will stop analyzing and over analyzing things. If things happen, it will. If not, then it won't.
Lesson # 4 If you count the hours by the minutes, you're gonna have a pretty long day. This is whats been happening to me the past 2 weeks. The days have been dragging by because I was counting the minutes. Do something you enjoy doing then you'll see, its the end of another day and tomorrow will be the beginning of something new.
So there ... it seems that while I was raising B, I was also raising me. :)