junior prom

I am currently watching "Perks of being a Wallflower" on another window on my laptop and it got me thinking about my own prom. It was Junior Prom and I was actually quite scared. See, I just broke up with my 1st boyfriend back then and I wasn't interested in anyone else. Not that there were guys beating down the door to go out with me. If there was, I wouldn't have noticed either.

I wore a red cocktail dress that my Mom bought me from Alixandre. It was really pretty and it was a little sexy. I felt awkward. At that time, I had no idea how to wear a ladylike dress. I was tomboyish and awkward. I was too tall for my age, too witty for the boys my age, and too gangly to even be poised.

There I was, walking across the dance floor to get to y seat when someone dedicates a song to me. It was How Do I Live and I felt humiliated. I don't know why I did but I did. It wasn't a good way to start my prom night.  By the way, I didn't have a date that night and went stag with my 3 best friends.

When all the girls were being asked for a dance, I wasn't. I was just there, sitting in a corner, pretending that I was okay being ignored but deep inside I wasn't. I wanted someone to ask me to dance. I wanted someone to notice me. I wanted to be noticed.

Eventually, a senior asked me to dance and it was actually my crush. To this day, I don't know if he asked me out of pity or because a friend of mine might have told him to ask me to dance. I do not know and I am okay not knowing. The other guy who asked me to dance was also another crush of mine. So yes, that night, I had 2 dances.

Some of you may find this surprising but I wasn't really what people considered a "beauty" then. I was just another gangly awkward tomboy in a sea of pale, flawless beauties that was my Chinese high school. I still don't consider myself a beauty now even when people keep saying a I have a pretty face.

My junior prom wasn't really anything memorable. It was just another dance, another night. To be honest, I a still waiting for my first real dance. If it will happen, I don't know. What my dream first dance is? It will be another entry all by itself.