Sunday, May 5, 2013

junior prom

I am currently watching "Perks of being a Wallflower" on another window on my laptop and it got me thinking about my own prom. It was Junior Prom and I was actually quite scared. See, I just broke up with my 1st boyfriend back then and I wasn't interested in anyone else. Not that there were guys beating down the door to go out with me. If there was, I wouldn't have noticed either.

I wore a red cocktail dress that my Mom bought me from Alixandre. It was really pretty and it was a little sexy. I felt awkward. At that time, I had no idea how to wear a ladylike dress. I was tomboyish and awkward. I was too tall for my age, too witty for the boys my age, and too gangly to even be poised.

There I was, walking across the dance floor to get to y seat when someone dedicates a song to me. It was How Do I Live and I felt humiliated. I don't know why I did but I did. It wasn't a good way to start my prom night.  By the way, I didn't have a date that night and went stag with my 3 best friends.

When all the girls were being asked for a dance, I wasn't. I was just there, sitting in a corner, pretending that I was okay being ignored but deep inside I wasn't. I wanted someone to ask me to dance. I wanted someone to notice me. I wanted to be noticed.

Eventually, a senior asked me to dance and it was actually my crush. To this day, I don't know if he asked me out of pity or because a friend of mine might have told him to ask me to dance. I do not know and I am okay not knowing. The other guy who asked me to dance was also another crush of mine. So yes, that night, I had 2 dances.

Some of you may find this surprising but I wasn't really what people considered a "beauty" then. I was just another gangly awkward tomboy in a sea of pale, flawless beauties that was my Chinese high school. I still don't consider myself a beauty now even when people keep saying a I have a pretty face.

My junior prom wasn't really anything memorable. It was just another dance, another night. To be honest, I a still waiting for my first real dance. If it will happen, I don't know. What my dream first dance is? It will be another entry all by itself.

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Hi! Let's all try to add more positivity in this world and adhere to the saying, "if you don't have anything nice to say, keep silent."

Showering you with unicorn poop so you'd always stay magical! Heart heart!