to you my son

Why do you act like that? Did I not raise you right? Do I not do my best? Do I not give you enough love? Why does it seem so hard for you to follow what I tell you? I'd never want anything bad for you. Why is it so hard?

I feel like I lack so much when it comes to you. I do my best to work hard to provide what you need ... to give you a good future ... to give you what you need in life.

I'm sorry that you do not have a father to look up to. It's just me ... its just MOMMY. And Mommy is really trying hard but I also need you to help me out. Sometimes, I am just lost as to what I need to do for you. Please tell me ...

My heart is breaking but I can't let you see that. I need to be firm. I need to discipline you. I need to be MOMMY and DADDY. I need to.

God, please help me. PLEASE. I need to be what my son needs me to be.