Today did not start out great. I was scheduled for a final interview which I prayed for last night and 25 minutes before the interview was about to happen, I was told that it was no longer pushing through because the client backed out.
I wanted to say, "well F U to that!" but I chose to say, "oh okay, thanks."
I figured, there really was no point in lashing out.
Yes, I may not have had enough sleep.
Yes, I may have woken up at 7am.
Yes, I have not had a cup of coffee.
I remember my prayer last night. It was actually very specific.
This morning, HE answered. It seems that I am meant to pursue my own blog and channel, scary as that sounds.
For a moment, I felt bad. It seems that what HE wanted was not what I wanted simply because I'm scared out of my head about venturing into really pursuing my blog and my channel.
My blog has been something personal for me for the last 13 years. Yes, I cover events and I do reviews but it was still personal. I never really pushed it that hard or monetize it and the thought of doing this is just terrifying.
I went through my day mulling things over and snapping at people. It was not a good feeling. Afternoon came and I saw my sister graduate from senior high school.
I was teary eyed.
I realized ...
I don't have something that I need but I have so many things that I never asked for.
I have an awesome family that loves me, supports me, and cheers me on.
I have a boyfriend who is faithful and is there for me no matter what.
I have friends who are real.
I have people around me who just want what's good for me.
We are all healthy.
We are all safe.
We have more than what is basic.
We are loved.
I also chanced upon a YouTube channel that just made me feel more calm and grounded. Tonight was the first time that I saw this channel but I subscribed not only to her YT channel but also her Pinterest, Instagram, and blog.
She's that awesome.
I've also been able to edit and upload a video in just 1.5 hours so I'm pretty hyped. I hope you guys can watch.
Today may not have started out great but I chose to end the day on a great note.