Fast forward to the present and so many things have changed. I have been with M for 11 months and it has been life changing. For the first time in 11 years, I have someone who helps me out with B in any way he can. I have someone who rallies me on and doesn't put me down. I have someone who has been trying so hard to make me smile and understand my quirks so that we no longer clash.
I have someone who chooses me every single day. Yes, every single day.
Trust me when I say it hasn't been easy. We're both bull-headed and we're both used to being right. It was hard meeting in the middle and many times, someone walked away.
This is one thing that we both had to learn. He's done a lot of wrongs but so have I. Once we both understood that we want to be together in spite and despite of all the mistakes and wrongdoings, it became easier for us to handle conflict.
We both learned that we need to be more expressive of our expectations, disappointment, anger, hurt, and feelings. We both learned that sometimes, someone can say something hurtful but not mean it. We both learned that at all times, we need to communicate and we need to be kind.
Oftentimes, this is the one thing people forget. People think that because the other person loves them, they will understand, they will forgive, and they will just let things go. Sadly, every person has a boiling point and when your partner reaches theirs, there is no turning back.
I've seen M almost hit it and so I have learned to be less antagonistic when I get mad. In turn, he has learned that walking away NEVER solves anything.
|Photo with the tripod is our very first photo together.
M will never be my ideal man. My ideal man is someone who is romantic and sweeps me off on surprise dates and randomly gives me flowers and little trinkets, someone who never gets mad and is always understanding. Instead, M is someone who from time to time remembers little things that I like and surprises me. He is someone who is trying to learn to adapt to my bipolar and someone who is learning to hug me when I feel bad. M is someone who is not ideal but is real.
I will choose real any day. I will choose M any day.
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