It doesn’t matter how tough we are. Trauma always leaves a scar. It follows us home, it changes our lives. Trauma messes everybody up, but maybe thats the point. All the pain and the fear and the crap…maybe going through all that is what keeps us moving forward. It’s what pushes us. Maybe we have to get a little messed up before we can step up. - Alex Karev (Grey's Anatomy)In the 30 years that I have been alive in this world, I have suffered through traumas that have left scars in me, both physically and mentally. Some traumas I have already forgotten or have chosen to forget while some just leave a lingering feeling and thought. It just won't go away.
These are the traumas that have made me a stronger person. These are the traumas for whom I have shed many a tear. These are the traumas that have left a hole in my heart to the point that I no longer know if my heart is still intact and can stand on its own. These are the traumas that will never ever leave my mind.
Do I wish that it did not happen? Maybe ... but then if these traumas did not happen, I will not be as strong as I am right now. I will not be who I am now. I will not be able to stand up after every fall, stronger, better, wiser.
Still ... sometimes ... it would be nice to not have too many wounds on you ... to not have too many tears to shed ... to maybe, just maybe, be okay.