put on hold ....


Yesterday, after days of overanalyzing, not analyzing, analyzing, stopping myself from analyzing, I got the answers to the questions I had in mind. Yesterday, I finally knew what I have been wanting to know.

Do I like the answers that I received? Maybe ... yes, no? I think its moot and academic to have feelings for the answers. I think this time, I just need to accept that it is what it is. Life is not fair and sometimes you think you may have found someone but in reality, things are gonna be put on hold because its not yet the time.

Fate was mocking me. I brought a book and grabbed a bookmark. While I was waiting for him, I read. I flipped over the bookmark at one point and guess what the bookmark has written on it?

"What happens when the right people click at the wrong time?" 

Boom! Fate mocks me.

So for now, I am on hold. We are on hold. We take things one day at a time ... he will text when he wants to and I will do the same. There will be moments of thinking of each other and not wanting to think of each other so we will keep busy. At least I know he feels the same, he does the same and its not just me going nuts here.

As he said, I a the glitch to his matrix. I am the MALWARE and TROJAN virus to his PC all wrapped into one. I scare him so much because I affect him that much. At least now I know.

At least he doesn't know what he is in my life. For now, he cannot really know. And as with anything ... I will just sing what I truly feel.

So, from the epic musical Les Miserables ...

"I love him
I love him
I love him
But only ON MY OWN."

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28 comments:

  1. True. It's goes back to the Philosopher's Marcel and Levinas. Brilliant thinkers. You would never truly get to know someone else, you don't even know yourself that much.

    It all boils down to faith and trust.

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  2. So weird coz I can relate 100! And that song is also my favorite.. "I love him, But every day I'm learning All my life
    I've only been pretending.... " ;-( but that's life, time can only tell.. For now just take it as it is and move on to the future. Good luck!

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  3. Life is not fair,true.And marriage is a gamble.Love sometimes comes at the wrong time.But experience makes us learn.We think and decide things over .So take it one day at a time.

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  4. oh wow, fate must be wanted you to see it

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  5. Of course you'd affect him so much! He'd be crazy not to be, haha. Ganyan effect mo dear, intense. So... what's the stats now, on hold pa rin?

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  6. I agree with this. We can really never know someone completely. We'll just know them by faith. I'm quite lucky no one has ever broken the faith and trust that I give. Anyway, I hope everything's well for you now achie Kay.. :)

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  7. life is indeed full of surprises... you just have to bear with it... Yahweh bless.

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  8. Things come and go like a fleeting bubble.. pray and it will come.. perhaps wait?

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  9. "Life is not fair and sometimes you think you may have found someone but in reality, things are gonna be put on hold because its not yet the time." - And good things come to those who wait :)

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  10. Our Literature teacher said that Fate is Negative/bad Destiny is Positive/good...
    So thumbs up Destiny....

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  11. i love this blog..and i'm trying to read every single post

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  12. I'm not quite good at giving advices especially when it comes to heart matters. I understand this is a sad post kaya to make you feel a bit better, ni LIKE ko na ang Life is Kulayful. :D

    A little bit old school to say it but i'll say it anyway... isipin mo na lang things do happen for a reason.

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  13. Making ourselves busy prevent us from thinking the unthinkable haha. in your case, do you think it's really better not to let him know what he is in your life? ok..that's your choice..just smile and be happy! :)

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  14. I presumed you're talking about having a cool off in a relationship, but I guess it may also apply to other aspects of life.

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  15. I'm completely different. I got only one faith, and that is forever. I just follow what the Bible says on faith. "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." If there are glitches along the way, I know God has planned that out and He will provide the way too.

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  16. You can simply dwell on this OR move forward and forget the past. Take on something new to fill the void. :) Have a happy day! :)

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  17. If it's love then it'll work but if it's true love then it's worth fighting for. But take it one day at a time. Get to know him more and let yourself open too. Love is supposed to be lax and smooth. You'll be alright :)

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  18. I like this entry! You're one of the bloggers that I admire. Keep it up!

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  19. i love this post... sometimes sparks comes to our perfectly assumed life.. but only the brave-ones are getting lucky to grab this spark, and give additional spark to his/her life..

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  20. "sway in every dance of life, feel the best of life at its fullest"

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  21. seemed like you have deep thoughts here. I don't know what are your predicaments right now but in every bump in the road, there is always a plain part :))

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  22. I know how this is. But I'm not too much a fan of one-sided love so I got tired of waiting hehe

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  23. You scared him that much, a trojan/ virus? I really don't want to speculate but... hey a nice talk settles a lot of things and find out whats the real score. I hope you clear things out, dear. God bless. :)

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  24. yes, taking your time on hold will benefit you most
    wow, ikaw na si Lea Salonga

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  25. I completely, absolutely, positively agree with Nancy things happens for reasons. And no matter happens "everything is gonna be alright"-Bob Marley. Just always remember Life is Kulayful! xxx

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  26. much has been said here, but i guess no one really understands until you are in that situation, right? my two-cent: live + let live. it might be an overused cliche, but, things do happen for a reason + always remember that The ALL only wants us to be happy...

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  27. if one of the equations isn't right (right people, wrong time or wrong people right time) then it might not work at all... both factors i guess should be the right one too...

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  28. I can relate to this one :(
    And i agree with Ion. It might not work.

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