on love letters ...

After watching ABNKBBSNPLAK, I remembered my own first time of receiving a “secret admirer” letter. I was in Grade 5 and I found one in one of my notebooks. I had a crush at someone at that time but I wasn’t anywhere near entertaining thoughts of having a boyfriend. 

When I saw the love letter and read it, I knew that it came from my crush because it was his handwriting. Of course I knew how his handwriting was like since we belonged to the same tutorial class and we would always sit beside each other. I also used to copy his answers in Math so I’ve kind of memorized how he wrote things. 

First reaction when I saw it was of course the little butterflies in the stomach but this was quickly replaced by anger. Yes, you read that right, anger. I was angry because he was putting me in a position I wasn’t ready for. I wanted to be his girl but I promised my Mom no boys because I was too young. 

I tore the letter in front of him. I didn’t know it back then but the pain I felt when I tore it was apparently my first heartbreak. It broke my heart to see him hurt but I had no choice. I was too young.
Now ... I don’t receive love letters anymore. I wish I did. It would be definitely endearing and something I’d treasure. However I don’t think men write love letters anymore.