While human beings are complicated and are undoubtedly not easy to understand, you can learn a lot about a person with some effort and a keen eye. Additionally, asking both your significant other and yourself some questions about them and your relationship could help you to better understand them, as opposed to assuming things or interpreting things based on your view, which may lead to wrong conclusions.
The following are some crucial questions that you should ask yourself and your partner when dating:
Would I like to have the traits of this person?
In marriage, the involved persons rub off on each other a lot and slowly start taking the traits and characteristics of each other. It is more like playing with Play-Doh: The more the colors are mixed together, the more difficult it is to tell them apart. The big question, then, is if you get excited at the thought of becoming like the other person, or if you shudder at the thought of being like him or her. Why date that person if you would not want to be like them?
Am I genuinely attracted to this person (and does the attraction run deeper than looks)?
It is a big problem that many people have come to believe that attraction is all about appearance. You may be thinking that if your clothes, complexion, abs, and other aspects are not sufficiently attractive, he or she will run away from you. The reality is that attraction involves much more than outward appearances. For example, one's values, personality, faith, and other unseen aspects matter a great deal. So the question you need to ask yourself is what draws you to that person, other than their looks. You can also ask them about the things that attracted them to you.
Am I myself when I am with my date?
Do you like being yourself when in the company of your date? Could you possibly be trying to be someone else when you are with that other person, because in your view he or she would like you to be someone else? It is crucial you answer these questions in order to help you determine if you should be dating in the first place or not.
Do I like the way their family communicates?
The way we behave and communicate has a lot to do with the way we were brought up or taught to communicate, either directly or indirectly. It is difficult to undo a grown-up’s communication patterns and behavior. As such, if you are not comfortable with the way you see them communicate at home or when you are with them on dates, you should reconsider dating them.
How does the other person handle money?
You should not shy away from addressing financial matters. Seek to understand his or her ideas on how to earn money, spend it, and to set aside savings and make investment decisions. You should ask outright questions concerning the other person’s views on taking care of bills and other things. Also, you can observe how they handle money matters and then ask yourself some hard questions.
This list of questions that you should ask yourself and your partner is long, though not exhaustive. Above all else, it is crucial to seek answers to those things that really matter to you. However, there are common issues like finances and communication that all people who envision a future together should address.