February has been about change. So many changes. So many heartaches, heartbreaks, endings, and new beginnings.
Lola joined her creator 26th of February. I knew it was coming and even said goodbye to her. I thanked her for everything and told her to rest coz she was starting to be in pain. I thought I was prepared. Apparently, nothing really prepares you for the passing of someone you love.
It hit me hard. I cried. I wanted to weep but couldn't because I just had a C-section and it would be bad for my stitches. Losing her felt like a chapter in our life is closing.
She's been there since I was a kid and now, she's no longer there. She's just gone. I won't see her laugh, that twinkle in her eyes ever-present and the cats will no longer have her to cuddle with.
It hurts. It just really hurts.
My older sister has moved to Cebu with her family. The twins are both back in Singapore. Soon, M and I will have our own place with our kids.
Times are changing. Stories ending and new beginnings ... it's a little scary.
I've been able to write daily and keep a journal. It has helped me express myself on things that I am not able to share online because some details are too private.
Sometimes though, you just can't find the words and all you have is this empty space which sums up how you feel inside.
February was all about highs and lows. Hopefully, the next few months till the rest of the year will be more about highs and middle ground.