I used to be a tomboy. I used to dress up in loose pants, a t-shirt, and sneakers. I used to hate having to comb my hair so I would always put it in a ponytail and I used to be able to beat guys in running matches whenever we play tag. When I got into college and found a place to hang out at, I was once again one of the boys.
The seniors would treat me like a little kid and talk about things that they wouldn't dare talk about in front of other girls but felt they could do so with me. I was just another guy. They'd punch me lightly on the arm and greet me in that male kind of way where they have some hand movements.
Years later, they finally realized that I was a girl and that maybe, I was worth dating. At first, it was flattering. It was a bit of boost to the ego to have them so interested in me. They would wine and dine me, make me laugh, send me flowers, woo me, and do what they can to get my attention. I felt desired.
Years again later, I got tired of it. Seriously. So I ended my serial dating spree and started my quest to becoming one of the boys once again. Last week, I hanged out with Chris. Earlier tonight, I hanged out with Jayson.
What I liked about both men? They were not into me. Yep. They were so not into me.
It was refreshing. It was SO refreshing. I was just me. I was bitchy and funny and crazy. I didn't really fix myself up. I didn't worry if I sounded cuckoo or what. I was just me. I didn't dress up nor worry that the person I was with would turn out to be some maniac. It felt good you know. It felt good to just sit back, relax, talk, and just be.
This is me. I am, and always will be, one of the boys.