Saturday, May 28, 2011
the kitkat experiment ...
Last night, before I went to sleep, I uttered a prayer. I said to God, if he was for me, to make him mine already .... and if he wasn't ... to take him out of my life. It was a sincere prayer on my part. This morning, I got my answer.
A girl messaged me asking about him. It seems he has been flirting with her and had asked to take her out. What a way to start my morning right? Amidst the tears that fell, I realized, God gave me my answer to the prayer I uttered.
If you have been reading my blog for some time now, you would know that I fell in love with someone who didn't love me back. No, he did not play me. He did not take advantage of me. He just broke my heart. Maybe he didn't mean to but he did nonetheless.
It was a mistake right from the very start. He wasn't ready, I wasn't ready and yet we continued. Unfortunately, when I fell ... no one caught me. He knew I was falling but he chose to let me fall off the edge of the cliff and left me splattered on the ground.
And so today ends the kitkat experiment. Today, I need to let go of these memories I have of him ... of the hopes that I had ... of the dreams ... of the belief. Our story started here ... and today it ends. It has to.
I've had enough. If he had cared about how I felt, maybe I could have held on.
And so it ends ... not because I don't love him anymore ...
But because he doesn't care ... if he did, he never showed it and love that is not shown is worth nothing.
I need to love me more.