drained ...

This is not going to be a good post. Trust me. The state of mind I am in right now, the cusses and all the curse words I know are just flying at 120kph speed and it is not about to end. I don't know what happened 3 hours ago to now but it seems any kind of positivity just f*cking flew out the window. I am not positive. Anyone who makes the mistake of going all positive on me right now will seriously get their faces smashed into tiny little pieces.

I hate this. I hate this feeling but I can't stop hating it. I can't stop feeling it. I feel like a dolt, a nincompoop, and a complete fake. I hate it. I hate pretending to be okay, to be strong, to be this and that when sometimes, all I really wanna do is shake someone so hard to make them realize what idiots they are.

I hate this feeling of being fat and I hate that all I have going for me are my pretty face which is not really that pretty and my brains which is not that smart as well. ARGH! I f*cking hate this.

Right now, I just hate me. But of course, when my friends and family would ask me if I'm okay, I'm gonna plaster a big smile on my face and say "yeah I'm great." They don't read this anyway. No one who matters does.

Especially you. I bet you won't even know that I plan to hibernate, soon.

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  1. You can smash and smother me to little bits of pieces but I have to tell you that you can do it. Godbless.