Sunday, August 9, 2015

relationship firsts ....

Everyone who has had to get into a new relationship will know this. It is the firsts that makes things giddier, more nerve wracking, and just a tad bit crazier. You know what I'm talking about. The first kiss, the first time they hug you, the first time you sleep over, or the first time you meet his family.

Since I have started this blog, I have been in a couple of relationships and so I have definitely experienced these many firsts. Some went well, some made me go "whatttt????" while some were just pretty insane.

1. The first date

This one is the one that normally decides how things will go. If you mess up the first date, then there won't be a second date. My first dates, I normally do not know if it went well or not when its a short one. When it extends beyond 2 hours, then I know its a good one. If the guy wants to extend and extend then offers to take me home, I know for sure that there will be date #2.

2. The first physical contact

This could be the first time he holds you hand, the first time he puts his arms around you, or the first time he hugs you.  Whatever it is, the buildup that leads to it is always electrifying. It could be super romantic or it could end up being awkward and funny. Your hands could fit perfectly or you may need to adjust a few body parts for things to fall into place.

The first time someone attempted to hold my hand, I slapped his hand so hard I left bruises. I was so surprised that it was reflex. After all, at that point, no one has ever held my hand in a romantic way.

3. The first kiss

My first kiss' happened in a library, retreat house, car, office, parking lot, and car. Well, the ones I remembered anyway. I know that it reads like a lot but as I said, I have had my fair share of relationships.

Almost always, the anticipation makes it all the more exciting. In all of my first kiss, I knew that it was going to happen except for the last one. The last one took me completely by surprise. First kiss almost always tells you what your physical attraction would be like, or rather, physical chemistry. To me, it matters. If the kiss is ho-hum, most likely, I won't be seeing that guy again on a romantic aspect.

4. The first fight

Now this is something that no couple wants to go through. However, it will happen. When it does, be ready. This is the point in the relationship where the tone of the relationship is set. Sometimes, it goes in the way that every fight will feel like the end of things but sometimes, it shows that you have something worth fighting for. Not every single fight you have will mean the end of it. Actually, if you feel that every fight means its the end, then perhaps the relationship you are in may not be the right one.

Fights are normal. Fights are a natural thing. Feeling like its the end of the relationship when you fight? Not normal.

5. The first meet the parent

Amongst all the many first, this is a make or break for a lot of couples, especially here. What our parents think of our partners matter. If it doesn't, it will still have a huge effect on how we handle the relationship. Thankfully, most of my meet the parents go pretty well.

A few tips:
  1. Dress simply but make sure its a classic. You can never go wrong with classics. A simple, slightly conservative dress is always a winner. If you want to wear jeans, pair it with a white shirt and a nice blazer plus classic flats. 
  2. Put on make up so you look put together but not too much that you look slutty, cheap, or trying too hard. A dash of lipstick, blush, and well put together brows should do the trick. 
  3. Tell something about yourself but ask questions to show that you are interested to get to know them. Do not ask too personal questions. 
  4. If you can bring a gift, do so. Something safe and not overly personal. Scented soaps are a good gift to bring or scented candles. Its thoughtful but not extravagant. 
So there you go. For me, these are the firsts that matters when you get into a new relationship. How about you? What was your most memorable first? 

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