First off all, please do not take this post seriously. Its meant to poke fun at myself and share some things on what you should not do after a break up which is unfortunately, what I did after my break up with the funny man.
It's pathetic but I can now laugh at myself and admit that I was crazy. So here goes and some of the posts here would be exaggerated because again, its to poke fun at myself and hopefully share a few good laughs with you guys.
Every thing here though does have more than a grain of truth in it.
1. Believe that its really not over. So what if he said its over, he was just mad. He was just hurt. He couldn't possibly have meant that it really is over. After all, he did say that the two of you were meant to be. Believe. Maybe if you believe enough, it will come true and he'll come back and say, "sorry, it was just temporary insanity."
2. Relive all of your memories together. Bring out the scrapbooks and browse through it, read everything you wrote about the two of you, take out his shirt and wear it every night, then go back to every song and every movie you heard and watched together in your head.
3. Don't put anything away. Why would you do that? You guys will eventually get back together. You are meant to be. So what if it takes 20 years? At least when he comes back, its all still there and it would be really romantic.
4. Do not blame him. Put all the blame on yourself. After all, if you were just perfect, then he wouldn't have any reason to leave you.
5. Keep understanding him. Yes, he may have hurt you. Yes, he may have left but all of this is just temporary. He will be back. So what if he hasn't talked to you in weeks? So what if he hasn't shown himself in months? So what if he keeps going out with different people. You are meant to be. You know that. So keep understanding him.
6. Go hide in a cave. It's easier to mope and weep and no one will be there to tell you to move on. So what if you are alone? You feel lonely and miserable anyway. He's not there anymore. The world should just end now.
7. If you can't hide in a cave, run away. I don't mean pack your bags and run away and drop from the face of the Earth but more of run away and take grand vacations or mini ones, depending on your budget. The trick here is to NEVER EVER FACE YOUR PROBLEM. Why should you? What's the point? The one you love just broke your heart. Life as you know it has come to an end.
8. Make a list to remind you why he was the one. Pick a flower and play the he loves me, he loves me not game until you get all flower petals to end in he loves me. If not, repeat the process over and over again.
9. Stay where you are. Wait for him. Play the song "The Man Who Can't Be Moved" or "I Won't Give Up" and sing to it. Why should you move on? You are the master of your own emotions. So what if those emotions are misery, pain, and agony? You're still the master.
10. Cry. Sleep. Cry upon waking up. Sleep. Cry some more and just never sleep. It's a waste of time to sleep when you can just cry.
11. Nurture all the negativity. Maybe if you're truly pathetic, he might take pity and come back to you.
12. Stalk him. Know what he's doing, what he's thinking, or who he's with. If you can't stalk him, imagine. Yes, imagine. That should kill you right then and there.
And lastly, but most importantly in the steps of how not to move on and drive yourself crazy, KEEP HOPING. Yes, keep hoping. Maybe, if you keep hoping, it would come true. If not, just keep hoping.
After all, if he still doesn't realize the truth that you know that you guys are meant to be together, you can always get inspiration from the movie Misery. That should make him believe.
PS: I'm in a bit of a better place now. I've cut down the stalking to 50% which is progress since the last 4.5 months, it was at 200%. So ladies, always remember, when the guy says he doesn't want to be with you anymore, HE MEANS IT.
Move on. If in the future he realizes that he was crazy to have let go of you, let him court you again. What matters is that when the man you love chooses himself over you (yes, thats what it means when they leave us) you need to choose yourself as well over him.
Do not do this. Please. For the love of God. It almost drove me crazy but if you really wanna give it a try, go for it. Let me know if you survive. I almost didn't.