Monday, August 12, 2013

gratitude # 4

Last night, I felt like I fell apart and maybe I did but I'm grateful that it was only for a few moments. It meant that I was still human and that I feel.

I'm not fake. I won't pretend to be happy if I am not nor would go I go as far as posting fake happy tweets if I wasn't feeling happy at that time. When I say I was happy, it means I was. However, last night, I wasn't. I was heartbroken and looking back, I don't even really know if I should have been heartbroken or if the overthinking, paranoid, jealous part of me go the best of me. After all, I couldn't really ask the person I wanted to ask what the truth was right?

So today, I spent time with my family and reminded myself of what really matters in life. Yes, he still matters to me but he's no longer a part of my life. He chose not to be and I need to appreciate those who have chosen to stay.

Today, I am grateful for ...

- Allan who is a constant by my side
- Vida who keeps reminding me that I am worth it
- my family, especially my Mom and my sister who keep me sane and hug me whenever I cry
- Oda and Jeje, new found friends who support me, accept me and love me
- my son, who is always ready to give me a kiss and a hug
- FM for leaving me ... yes, for leaving me because it was when he left me that I came to realize what I needed to fix about myself and what I needed to sort out ... the immense pain he gave me made me more mature and forced me to look really hard on myself
- FM for loving me ... he may not have stuck around but I know that he really did love me 
- for every tear that has added steel to my spine
- for every moment that has made me smile
- for work that will allow me to build the life I deserve and the one that I want for my son
- for the determination that I feel in getting my life back on track

I am grateful.

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Hi! Let's all try to add more positivity in this world and adhere to the saying, "if you don't have anything nice to say, keep silent."

Showering you with unicorn poop so you'd always stay magical! Heart heart!