My Dad would always say before ... I do not love you skin deep. I love you right down to the bones. I never got him before. I didn't understand. I only learned the true meaning of his words when I was not able to enroll my son in school this year.
I realized ... no matter how much hugging I do, how much I kiss my son, or spend time with him, if I am not able to give him the future he so rightly deserves, I am not loving him in the truest sense of the word.
Today, I am reminded of my Dad's words when I was talking to a friend of mine. She's in Canada right now and her fiancee is a seaman and they have left a child back here in Manila. She's been there for less than 6 months but she feels guilty because her son misses her. I understand where she is coming from but at the same time, I tell her that she is doing this for her own son's future.
Yes, you miss him. Yes, you want to be with him. Yes, you should be there with him ... BUT ... you can't. You need to work and earn for his future. It is for him. He may not understand now and he may miss you or even hate you at some point but there are so many other ways to bridge the gap. Webcams, 3g, mms, and the like. It's not like you won't see each other, you can ... you just won't be together ... for now.
So Laine, stay strong. This is for your son. It is for his future. In time, he will understand. Constantly reassure and constantly save money for him. In time, he will understand ... and when he does ... he wil be grateful and he will love you more for it.