Friday, July 4, 2008

to the one I should never love

I met him online some years ago. He was witty and funny, my kind of guy. He made me feel good about myself. He made me feel like I mattered.

We exchanged banters and ended up talking. It was heavenly, hearing his voice,
hearing him laugh, him making me laugh. I felt ... alive. I haven't felt that way in such a long time. Far too long.

Just as surely as the sun will rise, I started thinking of him even when we didn't talk. I started looking for him, needing him, wanting him. It was weird, awkward, sheer insanity.

I forced myself to stop. I knew he cared about me but he handled it better than I did. I knew he felt something for me but he hid it better than I did. I felt ... betrayed.

Why did he not show it? Why does he not tell me? Why does he not show it? I kept these all to myself. I didn't want him to know that I was waging war in my head against him.

Then I realized ... he was right. He shouldn't show me. He shoulnd't tell me. He shouldn't ... because he's someone I should never love and I am someone he would never want.

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Hi! Let's all try to add more positivity in this world and adhere to the saying, "if you don't have anything nice to say, keep silent."

Showering you with unicorn poop so you'd always stay magical! Heart heart!