They say that you should live life with no regrets, that there should be no what if's or if only in your life and if you accomplish that, then your life was lived and it was a life worth living. I doubt that there are many people who are in this scenario. I know I'm not and that there are several what if's in my life that I think about from time to time.
See, I look like I'm really nasty and snobbish but I'm more of a softie inside. I also tend to be a coward most of the time when it concerns my own feelings and emotions. I'm the type of person who would rather keep mum about her feelings and not say anything simply because I'm not sure if the other person feels the same way too. The other time, we both felt the same way but we've been friends for so long that we just didn't want to risk the friendship anymore.
Another regret of mine is not having a relationship with my father. I know that its not only his fault but mine as well. I regret that I did not have the courage, strength, nor perseverance to just keep wanting to be his daughter through all the rejection he gave.
There are many things that I still regret, that belong to my what if's and if only ... I accept that. I can deal with that. Its part of my life and part of who I am now. One thing I will never let happen though is to wonder what it would be like to have a good relationship with my son. That will never be a what if coz I will make sure that my son knows that I love him and that I will be there for him no matter what.
What are your what if's in life?
My what's if's changes all the time, but I wonder a lot if I'm raising my kids right. Am I too hard or too soft? Will I drive them to become bad people down the road?
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