Monday, July 29, 2013

she saves me ...

I met her 9 years ago. She saved me back then from my La Salle self. You see, I was this conyo girl who just had one year of call center work and was suddenly promoted to Team Leader. I was modelling on the side which meant that I was always made up and poised, and that most girls hated me. This is what happened.

A lot of the girls in the company I worked in hated me except her. She didn't hate me. In fact, she took me under her wing and protected me. She didn't hate me. She accepted me; kikayness, silliness, and all naivete. She accepted me; bitchiness and temper and all that.

2 months after meeting me, she had to deal with my running away from home and she had to take home A LOT of my stuff and it ended up getting stored at her place for 2 years. Yes, she did all these for someone she met for only 2 months.

A year later, she became Godmother to my son. 4 years later, she helped me pick up the pieces of my failed marriage where I was treated as garbage and a punching bag.

I was broken. I believed I was broken and could never be fixed. Right after, I jumped into another relationship and she stood by me. She stood by me while I threw myself at another worthless guy because I thought that no one would ever want me.

She was there the whole time holding my hand and reassuring me. When that relationship failed and I was rushed yet again to the ER because of a guy, she was there for me.

She was there during the 2 years that I rebuilt myself. She was there cheering me on whenever I wavered and got scare that no one would ever want me. She was there countering every negative thought I had. She was there encouraging me when I would go on dates with myself and she would give a "YAY" when I accomplish something I never thought I would.

When I fell in love with the funny man last year, she was there to ask if I was ready and when I said I was, she stepped back and let me be. When the funny man left me and gave up on me, she stepped in again.

She held me and let me cry ... she listened to me cry every night an every week for the last 3 months. She encouraged me to move forward. She told me that I can rebuild myself again. She told me that I can be happy on my own again. She reminded me that though yes he was a great guy, when push came to shove, he left me in the middle of the crossfire to fend for myself.

He wasn't strong enough to be my guy.

She reminded me of these and she reminded me that it is not completely my fault. She would always tell me that though yes, I may be high maintenance and it takes a lot of guts to love me, it also is one of the most glorious things on earth to be loved by me. She reminded me that I expect so much from people simply because I also gave it my all.

She reminded me that I should not let myself be treated badly and hurt intentionally. She reminded me that though I have flaws, I am more than that. She reminded me that I am worth something and thus, I deserve to be treated like I am worth something.

She saves me. She has been saving me for the last 9 years. She gets mad at me, she would yell at me, she would get frustrated with me, and I know that there have been more than one instance where she would like to wring my neck but amidst all of these, SHE NEVER LEFT MY SIDE. She never gave up on me.

Whenever I fall, she helps me get up. Whenever I falter, she reminds me of how strong I am. Whenever I weep, she helps me dry my tears and reminds me to smile. Whenever I doubt, she lists down my achievements and makes me realize how far I've come.

She saves me and I am eternally grateful.

Thank you once again for giving me the tools to save myself. You don't know how much our meeting last Satuday night meant to me. Thank you.


  1. You are lucky to have her... So lucky pala... ^_^

  2. Be thankful. Thank God for sending an angel friend. Friends like that, like true love really do come once in a lifetime.


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