Wednesday, June 23, 2010
You were barely a year old in this photo ... now, you are turning 5 this July already. How time flies ... I barely turned my back and you are no longer a baby. Earlier, we were both on our laptops and you just got up and came over to hug me. I cherish moments like that.
I know that sometimes I easily lose my patience with you. As you are learning, Mommy is learning too ... I am learning how to be a better Mommy and how to be there for you when you need me and not be there so that you will grow up to be independent and have your own mind.
You can't be a Mama's boy though I want you to be. You are a man ... you need to have your own set of principles, and to learn to stand by your guns. I want you to be decent, God fearing, respectful of women, and forgiving. I need to teach you these things.
Sometimes, I wonder ... can I? Will I be able to? It is so scary when I imagine what will happen if I fail. I cannot fail my son. It is your future that is at stake here. It is your humanity.
Don't worry ... Mommy will do her best or die trying. I cannot promise to protect you from everything or everyone who will try to hurt you. Sometimes, I need to let them so that your character will be built. Sometimes, I need to let you fall so that you will learn how to wipe off the dirt and stand up on your own. Mommy can't always be there for you even if I would want to.
I love you B ... that, I can promise, will never change.