Tuesday, March 9, 2010

stress will kill me

It seems that stress is catching up on me. I found myself palpitating earlier and the inevitable happened ... oxygen couldn't go to my brain and I collapsed. My teammates found me on the floor and they told me that I had no color left in me, my lips were blue, my eyes were dilating big time, and I was ice cold.

They must have thought I was dying. I was unconscious for more than 30 minutes and my trainers wife who is a nurse said that I could have gone into coma if thethey were not able to revive me.

This was a usual occurence and would normally not scare me. What did scare me was the fact that I had a hard time forming sentences when I woke up and I kept seeing yellow when there was white. I felt so tired as well eventhough I had more than 9 hours of sleep.

Initial diagnosis is severe anxiety attack but the doctor wants me to see a cardiologist. It seems that my heart may have some fats surrounding it. I have no idea what that entails but I know that its not a good thing.

I'm scared and I can't even admit to my family that I am scared. I have no one to talk to about this and that's scary too. I just want to believe that since I'm not that good a person, I won't die anytime soon. Isn't that what they say?

I'm really scared.

1 comment:

  1. That's awful. I hope you're better now. Did they figure out what caused it? I hope so. I know what you mean about facing death. When my blood pressure kept coming up super-high, I realized I could have a heart attack and I might not be able to grow old with my wife or see my kids grow up. I was scared too and that's why I went on my special diet to get my blood pressure closer to normal. I hope recover soon and stay strong for your kid.


Hi! Let's all try to add more positivity in this world and adhere to the saying, "if you don't have anything nice to say, keep silent."

Showering you with unicorn poop so you'd always stay magical! Heart heart!