Faith = God = Hope = Love

The last 10 days had been intolerable for me. I've realized so many skewed things about me in handling relationships that I felt like I wanted to get an extra arm so that I could slap myself silly for being so darn stupid.

My Mom was right again. I was so selfish that I kept focusing on myself and that I forgot that other people are hurting too. She told me that she's not mad at J and that she does understand his need for space and while he's having his space, I should fix myself too. She and J were both right.

This past few days, I have realized:

• that J loves me so much but he is also human
• that I've hurt J so much
• that J and I will work things out in the end because we love each other
• that I need to learn the value of "patience"
• that I need to let go of all insecurities because I am worth loving and J is a totally different guy ...
• that I need to love me and not rely on someone else to make me feel good about myself
• that everything can be fixed if love prevails and a cool mind

So I will be patient and love on my own for now. I am not ashamed nor embarassed to admit my mistake because I know that when J and I are back together, things will be so much better for us. This will only make us stronger.

With faith, my belief in God strengthens and with it comes hope and unconditional love. Thank you Lord.