love lessons from Miss Wrong

I have never been Miss Right.

I've been Miss Right for Now, Miss Not Really Right, Miss Meantime, Miss Fill the Void, and Miss Decor but I have never been Miss Right.

It seems I have always been Miss Wrong.

So to all the other woman out there who are in the same boat as I am ... those who feel that they are somehow never the right one for someone ... here are a few tips to hopefully make you Miss Right. These are things that I have learned upon the demise of my relationships. If it can help turn a Miss Wrong into Miss Right, then my love life or lack of it has served a greater purpose.

My first love taught me that PRIDE should never have a place in your relationship. I lost him because I had too much pride. I broke up with him because my ego was hurt. Granted, I was only 17 at that time but I thought I knew everything there was to know about love. When he tried to court me again, I turned him down. He eventually found someone else but for the next 7 years, he would always appear and make his presence known. I never did get back with him but I would always wonder, what if?

My 2nd love whom I met in college taught me that TOO MUCH TOGETHERNESS is not a good thing. You see, he was a schoolmate and I'd see him every single day because even during weekends, he would visit me or go with me or bring me wherever he was. We eventually came to a point where we had nothing to talk about because we knew everything that was happening with each other.

I got bored and so I broke up with him which brings me to another lesson. FIGHT FOR YOUR LOVE. You see, when I broke up with him, he just let me and he said that he felt the same way but the truth was, he went to my place when I had class and begged my Mom to help him get me back. He should have just fought for me. I don't know if I would have said okay but at least, he fought right?

My 3rd love ... this one taught me a lot. He taught me that being a PUSHOVER and having NO SELFWORTH is not a good thing. You see, he was Mr. Nice Guy. He was the quintessential romantic and the one that dreams were made of. He was a little bit too perfect that I felt so imperfect and flawed. 

He would apologize to me even when I was wrong and he would just let me do everything and there were no rules. Apparently, rules exist for a reason. If you close your fist too tight, the sands will be lost. If you open your palms too wide, the winds will blow it away. But if you hold the sands just right, then it stays. He opened his palm too wide and I flew away.

The 4th guy who also happens to be B's father taught me to always TRUST MY INSTINCTS. There were just too many red flags that I ignored, too many whispers and shouts from my gut that I did not pay attention to and so shit happened.

The 5th one taught me to NEVER BE DESPERATE. Do not jump into a relationship simply because you think that no one else will love you or want you. This relationship was doomed right from the start because it started for all the wrong reasons.

The last one ... I learned from him that if you are still WOUNDED AND NEED TO HEAL, you should never be in a relationship. He also taught me that when someone treats you like an option, you should never make them a priority. Lastly, when a guy tells you he doesn't love you anymore, believe him. If he's telling the truth, then definitely move away. If he's lying and he still loves you, then psycho alert.

So there. To sum it all up, before you go on a dating spree, you just need to remember the following:
- know you're worth
- know what you will put up with
- know what you will NOT put up with
- know when to fight
- know when to walk away
- be smart enough to know the difference.

So there .... love lessons from Miss Wrong who has finally given up on ever being Miss Right.

Cheers.


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25 comments:

  1. Very great advice for people seeking a relationship. My son needs to read this as he just got his heart broken.

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  2. Trust your instincts - is that so true. How many times has a friend told you something negative a couple of times about the guy they are seeing, and then three years later they split and she's like "He ..." right - just what you said 3 years ago.

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  3. This was funny. Haven't we all been Miss Wrong!

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  4. Hahaha, all the titles in your second paragraph made me laugh! A very, very interesting and honest post. Even those of us who are happily married (or just married!), have been there before! So you just keep rocking!

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  5. I was really lucky that my first boyfriend at 17 is still my partner now, 13 years later! I really hope that you find your Mr Right and you become Mrs Right soon!

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  6. Great post! Love is not that easy sometimes.

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  7. Great love tips for anyone out there! This could save so many people from getting into bad, or even abusive relationships

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  8. Yes, it's so important to turn all experiences, good and bad, into lessons. Seems like you learned a lot!
    Carol
    www.carolcassara.com

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  9. Wow, great lessons you learned! It is really important that whatever we go through, we are learning and growing to be a better version of ourselves.

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  10. I have lost relationships due to pride before too but I learned from my mistakes quickly.

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  11. My daughter became Mrs. Right...uh....Wright! We've teased her a lot about always being Mrs. Wright. But these are such good points. I've seen too many desperate girls that paid the price for not waiting for "the one."

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  12. I'm happy to see that you've learned from your mistakes. And now people will also learn from your experiences.

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  13. I could not have said it better. At the end of the day what matters is that you love yourself enough to know that you're in the wrong relationship. Thanks for the good read!

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  14. It definitely takes a lot of trials to find out what works best for you. It's not easy dating!

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  15. You will find the right one when the time is right. Just because you date someone does not me the are MR. Forever. Have fun and be true to yourself!

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  16. I feel you on so much of this! Every time I thought I knew what was going on I was wrong wether it was my fault or theirs.

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  17. This is very good advice. When I was in college I also did the same thing as you described. Me and the guy that I started seeing...we even lived in the same dorm building. Seemed like we were always together. It can definitely ruin things when just starting out.

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  18. The trick is to be yourself. That's it. Whatever you feel comfortable with is what you are going to be, and that is what you will project to him. Once he gets comfortable with and accepting of that, then you will have a relationship that will last.

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  19. The best advice is to simply be yourself. Eventually, "Mr. Right" will find you.

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  20. Those instincts are usually spot on. It's easy to look back and see them..and think oh my goodness! but when you trust someone it's so easy to shuffle those warnings away.

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  21. Very good advice! I always pick the wrong people but end up "figuring it out" soon after the relationship starts. I have just learned it is ok to be alone!

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  22. Wow, wow and wow again. A couple weeks ago I was discussing the same thing with someone and we touched on how much pride can ruin a great relationship. Great post!

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  23. Great love tips! This could save so many people from getting into wrong and abusive relationships! Loved your post!

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  24. Yay! I enjoyed reading this post :) Yeah be true to yourself don't copy anyone just to make them like you. The right guy will definitely come in perfect time.

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  25. I still believe in the saying that we need to be with the wrong one first or twice in order for us to finally meet and recognize the right one. After failed relationships, hopefully the next one would be the ever after guy.

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