Do you even really know him?
This is something that friends would always ask me when I mention you.
You barely know him.
It's too early.
It's too soon.
You're just going to get hurt again.
He doesn't even know you exist.
They might be right. Or they may be wrong. Who's to say what is right and wrong when emotions are involved? Who can really tell someone that it is wrong to want someone to be happy? Who can say "don't love this person because he will just hurt you."
If it was so easy to follow, shouldn't there be less hearts broken and more relationships intact?
You may not be someone worthy of loving.
You may not be someone worthy of affection.
You may not be someone worthy of anything.
However, this heart has decided that you are worthy of all these and more. This heart has decided that I need to get to know you ... to see all the imperfections and accept it for all these flaws are part of who you are. This heart has decided that it will love you for all that you are, regardless if you notice me or love me back for this heart just loves.
It just loves and even when it doesn't get loved back, it chooses to love until there is nothing left of it. It has always been like that. It loves and loves until there is nothing and then it slowly rebuilds. It cannot love any other way. This is the only way it knows how.
I see your flaws but I also see your potentials. I see the good that you try to hide under the facade of not wanting to care or love. I see the beauty that is in your heart that has been broken so many times by people you loved who did not love you back. I see the longing in your heart to have someone tell you they won't leave because there has been way too many goodbyes and too little "I'm here to stay."
I see all these and more.
I see you.
I don't just see the arrogant jerk who pretends to not care.
I don't just see the confused child who can't understand why he's alone.
I don't just see the hurt young man who just wanted to love.
I see you.
I see all of you.
I see your flaws and potentials.
I see the good and the bad.
I see the ugly and the worst side of you.
I see you.
So if you will let me ... I would like to love you even when you are not worthy of being loved because that is just your opinion of yourself. I would like to love you even when you are not worthy of being loved so that I can show you how worthy you are of being loved if you will just let me.
I define love as a decision. I chose to love him when it was so difficult to love him because that's when he needed it most. I get hurt. I see flaws. But still I choose to love him every single day in the past 25 years.
ReplyDeleteStaying is always a choice.
Delete