Saturday, April 1, 2017

are you okay?

Are you okay?
No. 

It was such a simple question asked after the heat of the moment, after the anger, and the irritation had died down but it meant a lot. Normally when I get into a fight with someone and we hurtle words at each other and say painful things, it never ends well. When D and I fight and for some reason we have been fighting a lot more since Cebu, it can go from someone walking out but coming back to just being really awkwardly quiet. However, D has a way of breaking the ice and just getting things back on track.

Are you okay?
No. 

He stared at me before he asked this. I felt it. I felt the stare, the questions in his head, his eyes searching for a sign that I was ready to talk and not blow up in his face the moment he asks me something. He didn't know that all I really needed was a hug. A hug and a sorry would have done the trick, would have eased off any hurt inflicted. A hug always works with me.

It was a miscommunication obviously so I'm sorry. 

Just like that my anger went away. The pain eased and that heavy feeling in my heart left. All I could do was say okay. He looks at me with that look he gives when he is trying not to laugh but ends up laughing anyway. I can't help but laugh with him. I always laugh with him.

He frustrates me like no one can and he makes me so mad when he becomes an ass but when he says sorry, I can't stay mad at him anymore no matter how much I want to. I've never been able to stay mad longer than an hour if I was going to be honest about it but he can stay mad at me for days. He can stay mad at me and I know that one day, he will get mad, walk away, and never come back.

Are you okay?
No.
Will you be okay?
I don't know.

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Hi! Let's all try to add more positivity in this world and adhere to the saying, "if you don't have anything nice to say, keep silent."

Showering you with unicorn poop so you'd always stay magical! Heart heart!