You are now 5 years old ... you are cultivating your own personality and sometimes, I feel so lost. I don't know how to handle you. You have become so hard headed that I feel like I am a failure as a Mom. I do want to be there for you all the time B but I also need to work and I also need some me time to survive.
They say you are better behaved when I am not around but lately, you seem to be testing the waters so much. You are stretching the limits of the people around that I worry how we will be when its just us in a house.
I hope that this is just a phase. Am I lacking in showing you that I love you? Do I lack quality time with you? What am I doing wrong B? I hope you can tell me what exactly you need from me. I so want to be the Mom that you need me to be.
I want you to grow up with respect for others and love for yourself. I want you to be a good, brave boy. I want so much for you B; all good things. I hope I am able to give it to you. I hope that no matter how many mistakes I may be committing now, I am still able to teach you what you need to learn.
I love you B. So much ... Happy 5th birthday my son ...