Thoughts and What Not for the New Year

3 days in and all I've really done for 2021 was rest, rest, and rest. 

In a way I think that this is a good thing because I know for a fact that the one thing I lacked the most in 2020 was rest. I was pregnant, Taal Volcano erupted, I gave birth, COVID-19 happened. things went haywire in the family, we moved houses, online school happened, and we struggled to make ends meet then I turned 40 and got proposed to. 

Whew. Simply reading about my 2020 had me breathing a sigh of relief that I survived it. 

Reading about it again brings tears to my eyes because even though there were major heartbreaks and changes, there were also breakthroughs and new beginnings. I now have my own small family and I have a new extended family that welcomed me with open arms. 

This 2021, I need to take better care of my mental health, my heart, and my physical body. I am no longer the bustling 20-year-old who can easily bounce back. I am turning 41 this year and I have a baby who I want to see grow up. 

I have found a lifetime partner who has stuck with me through thick and thin, even when I kept pushing him away and kept trying to leave. Soon, I will be his legally and he will be mine. The thought brings a smile to my face. 

2020 was a disruption. Some of us were able to adjust, a lot struggled, and a few didn't survive. For those who did, we are the lucky ones. For those who struggled but made it be proud. For those who lost the battle, may you be in a better place. For those who lost someone, may you find it in your heart to move on. 

2021 is all about embracing the change and adapting to make it your own. For me, 2021 will be a brand new year in every essence of the word. In just 10 days, I will become a wife again, but this time, for real. I will have my own family that I need to protect at all costs and we will soon embark on a new journey. 

Personally, I plan to take better care of myself for real because of a promise I made before. I said to myself that if someone loved me at my worst and even wanted to marry me, I will make sure to give him my best. I have met that person and we have formed a family. My family deserves my best. 

It's going to be hard. It's going to be a struggle but it will be worth it. 

I still feel sad when I think of my Mom and youngest sibling but life gave us two different paths. Maybe someday we will meet again and things will be okay but for now, we each need to go on our separate ways. I hope that they will be okay and I hope that they know that I love them. 

For now, my focus will be on me, my mental health, my physical health, my family, my career, and our journey towards a better life.