Why are you happy that I like you?
Aren't we too old to be infatuated?
I think in a way we don't know much about each other in the sense that I have no idea what ticks you or what your favorites are but we know parts of each other that other people could never know and I think its beautiful. We know the ugly side of one another and yet we haven't thrown in the towel and said fuck this, you're psycho. There is beauty in liking the ugly side of someone. It makes for a better foundation for whatever will start because it is NOT infatuation coz how can you be infatuated with something that is not beautiful?
I wrote this a month or so ago when we just started seeing each other. A month has passed and we haven't seen each other anymore but we have stayed in touch and you have managed one way or another to be there for me virtually. You remind me when I'm being petulant to act like the grown up that I am supposed to be and you cheer me on when haters get to me.
The other day I told you:
We are each others casualty in the luck
that life has thrown at us
for we will always choose other priorities
over the feelings we have for each other.
I think that if we really look at it, we are not jumping in the pool of togetherness because although we may have healed, we are not fully healed and we have a lot of things we still want to prove to the world and to ourselves. In a lot of ways, we are still broken and we are still putting together the many pieces of us that others shattered. What's beautiful about it is that we are there for each other ... even just as someone who are more than friends but not fully lovers.
I have come to accept your flaws and the fact that you can be quite distracted. You have accepted that I can be petulant and immature, sometimes even insecure. If we continue this, I think in the end, we may actually come to love the broken parts of us and I think that is a beautiful thing.