I have attempted to kill myself twice in my 27 years of being alive. Once, when I was 18 and the other when I was 23. Both times it was because of family issues. Obviously, I failed since I am still alive now. At times, I am very grateful that I have failed but I will be a liar to say that thoughts of it no longer cross my mind. They do, especially when things are not going so well or when I 'm really really hurting.
Does it make me a coward? Yes, I am one. Does it make me weak, yes, it does. I do try not to entertain it so much since I have a wonderful lil angel who needs me in his life (or that's what I want to believe.) At times, though, it just seems the easy way out; and the pain is just too much to bear.
I just try to get by; sometimes with friends or at times, by myself. One step at a time, one tear at a time. I know that this too shall pass.