because we were traumatized ...

Today was not a happy day for us. Nanny just left and it wasn't a graceful exit she made. It was quite the opposite to be honest. There were lots of screaming, anger, wrath, and awful awful words that had to be said but at the end of the day, things were settled and it ended with me taking her to the baranggay to dispose of her. Sigh.

And because it was a bad day, I decided to end it at Starbucks. Guess who's a happy camper now?

mission accomplished! SHE smiled.

The goal was to get my Mom smiling because she had been very upset. I can say, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! :)

B in his "uniform"

what a cutie!

I am so excited already for B ... I really hope that it will be the start of a wonderful adventure for him. :) I know it will be and I really hope that I have instilled in him good values and the sense of self respect that will help nurture him throughout this wonderful journey.

he likes me, he likes me not

Seems this month, its flowers left and right that have been cropping up. I received one bouquet last April 5 and another one now. The story behind the flowers, never to be divulged. Anyway, enough about the back story and on to the photos of the bouquets themselves.

Tell me, which one do you prefer?

April 19 delivery

April 5 delivery

:) Both bouquets made me smile, but one had me smelling the flowers multiple times. :)

3 things I know to be true

I have been wanting to do this post since I first saw the video done by Sarah Kay for www.TED.com but I am only able to remember this now. Sometimes, I amaze myself with mu forgetfulness and I am dumbfounded that something important like this can be forgotten while some things that you want to forget just does not go away. Hmmm ...

3 things that I know to be true about myself are the following ...

1. I am stronger than I thought I was. I have surpassed so many challenges, some of them a true nightmare that when I look back, I am simply in awe that I was able to survive it. I've always been the weakling, the one with the not so stable mind, and people have tagged me fragile so this is a real achievement on my part.

2. I am now okay with being single. I used to fall from one long term relationship into another but now, I have learned that maybe, it is better to be alone and do things on your own while you make yourself a better person so that when that person who is meant for you comes along, you will be ready. Or if there is no other person for me, I'll live.

3. Music and writing are an essential part of my life. All my emotions, the way I feel, I am able to express it through music and words. When everything else fails, they never do. 

So, what are three things you know to be true about yourself?

dear heart

You just won't quit eh? You just keep beating and beating, hoping, never tiring. You seem to have gotten stronger and now, you can just take on the hurt and the pain inflicted on you, nurture it a bit, then easily toss it aside. You seem to have gathered courage now so that even when you have just shed tears, you can easily smile.

Why do you hope heart? Should I listen to you and keep hoping? Should I not listen to me and stop hoping? What do I do heart? What should I do? Tell me, heart ... should I even trust you still?

Why do I even bother ... I never win ... or if I do ... it's partial ... so fine heart! FINE! I give in, once again, I give in.

"as long as we live on the same planet

sleep under the same sky 

US is not impossible."

meeting the Charmed Wife

I started blogging 5 years ago ... one year later, I chanced upon a blog written by a Filipina who lives in Australia. I loved the way she writes and how she just seems so positive all the time that I started following her. Her blog was called the A Wife's Charmed Life

Fast forward to present times and I got the opportunity to meet her in person and seriously, I had to control myself to not be a "fan." I wanted to laud her with praises and tell her how she has been such a positive influence on me but seeing as when that happened to me I kinda freaked out, I didn't want to do the same to her.

I am just so happy and so blessed that she made time to meet me and she actually got me a demitasse set of Australia and Sydney. It was so adorable and the best part was that I also got her and her husband a demitasse set of Manila and Philippines. LOL. Great minds think alike!

Here are photos of our meeting. I am in awe. She is a wonderful writer but she is an even more wonderful person. Thank you Ibyang, for being you and for sharing and spreading positivity. You have touched my life.

Chris, Ibyang, and I

my blogger inspiration

her gift which I will treasure

I am in awe. :)

please don't send me quotes

I was sending my usual mass text of quotes to my friends and maximizing the unlimited text being offered by Globe when I received a reply from a new acquaintance. He tells me, please don't send me quotes anymore. Leave me alone. I was dumbfounded. I was like, "eh?"

The person then calls me and asks me who I was. I was ready to hit the guy and decapitate him in my head but the good in me got the better of me and so I replied and answered who I was. He then goes "oh! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry" and does this for about 4 minutes.

It doesn't end there. He texts. He calls again. He apologizes, over and over again. I was like, "chill dude! its cool." But ... he asks me, "how can I make it up to you?" I am such a sucker for that way of saying sorry. Seriously. It's always the best way to get back on my good side and so I told him that we could have dinner at CBD in Ayala Triangle and the reason I chose the place was because I haven't eaten there and I have already eaten at 95% of the restos in Ayala Triangle.

So today, we met up and had one of the best cheese steak sandwiches ever. Seriously. We also talked about film making and how I'm gonna help him make this short film of his a reality. I mean it. I would love to be part of his crew and shoot a film.

So you see ... sometimes, it is a good thing when you meet a random person ... especially if you have the same interest. So Mr Director, lets get the film rolling.

the counter where you order

banana crumble pie

cheese steak ... WOW

the assistant director/actress and the Director LOL

Bon Chon with Kate

I met up with Kate because she was giving me the uniforms for B's pre-school so that I don't need to buy it anymore. I found this very sweet and as a way of thanking her, I took her to Bon Chon in Ayala Triangle. I still find it pretty amazing that there are a number of people who are still not aware of Bon Chon or Ayala Triangle. It is such a staple part of my life nowadays that I feel like I should share it with people I care for.

As always, Bon Chon did not fail me. Kate liked the chicken. :) It was hot, and so were we.

alphabet tree

Today, I decided to do a project that I saw on an internet site ... it was called the alphabet tree. K helped on making it and B finished the thing by himself. I am one proud Momma and sister!

B's future school ...

So I went to B's future school today and I was happy about the place but super stressed about the curriculum. I'm impressed that they have high standards but I am a wee bit worried that B might not be  able to keep up. You gotta remember, he didn't go through nursery and kinder and we are aiming to get him to prep. :)

AJA!

Here's the classroom.

They have a 2:20 ratio. 2 teachers to 20 students. I think that's pretty okay. It teaches the kids to be independent but someone can still watch out for them if needed.

Here's the uniform.

isn't it adorable?

I'm kinda excited and scared at the same time. Eeeekkk!

progress of Oplan Prep for B

So, we're almost at the finish line now and B can definitely do the following:

1. spell his complete name
2. fill in the missing letters
3. spell at least 50 words
4. do simple addition
5. read simple sentences
6. identify body parts
7. sing and dance

Here are some of the stuff that he's done.

So, what do you think? Are we ready for pre-school?

sleepy cat ...

I was working at home yesterday when I saw out cat sleeping on the sala. The cat was changing positions every so often that I just had to take photos of it. LOL. It's such an awwww moment.

Is it not?

stab me much?

 

"We're judgemental people. We judge you. We're perfect kasi." - this was said half jokingly to me by someone whom I admired ... someone I thought was real and honest. Apparently, I was wrong. She, along with others in a group I used to care for a lot has been discussing me behind my back. I had an inkling it was happening but to have it confirmed to you was still quite a blow. 

The audacity of these creatures amazes me. It's like they don't know that their words hurt, that their judgement hurts. For all my talks of being brave and all that, I am still human. I hurt. I break. I cry. I shed tears.

What I love most about their judgement was how they deemed me as a not so good Mom. Apparently, I don't post about my son enough. I was even told that I should post more often about him. Wow! Would posting about my kid make things better for us financially? Would posting about him make me a great mom immediately? 

And seriously ... who the FUCK are you all to judge me? Who died and made you GOD? Who? No one! So to you, and to the rest who seem to have no life and so needs to look and pick at mine ... this is what I have to say to you all. 

Please go back to hell where you belong.

random rants of a tired "super" mom

Don't be fooled by me. Don't be fooled by the face I wear, for I wear a mask ... I wear a thousand masks -- - masks that I'm afraid to take off and none of them are me.

Lately, I've been hearing people tell me that I'm such a super mom because I am doing this and that for my kid. I felt good about it but at the same time, I am pressured. Seriously, I may look like I know what I am doing but I don't. I really don't.

I take things one day at a time. I do trial and error and sadly, when its an error, my kid suffers and so do I. Unfortunately, all the manuals in the world on how to be a great Mom does not really work because every kid is special and needs a Mom that is fitted for their needs. It's not like they come out from a mold that says "super intelligent but slightly emo kid" or "sporty and hates veggie kid" mold.

Kids have their own personalities and mine is the smartass, super sweet, and will most likely give me white hair by the time I'm 40 kid. He's so smart that it scares me sometimes. He's really sweet when he wants to be that I need to harden myself just so he knows who is boss and simply because I'm Mom and Dad to him. I need to be stern yet tender. Talk about an oxymoron.

I just wish there was a genie out there and he can grant me one wish. I would not wish for money or beauty (I already have that hahaha.) I would wish for wisdom to know what my son needs to grow up as a wonderful creature who will touch the lives of many and be a blessing to everyone he meets. This is all that I need.

This is what this Mom needs.