sentiments of a mother

Dear B,

Tomorrow, you will be 4 years old. Tomorrow, it will be 4 years since I brought you to this world and my journey as a Mom started. It hasn't been all peaches and cream but it hasn't been all sour pickles as well. It's been a crazy roller coaster ride with more highs than low.

It's been one hell of a ride that I know I will never get off though I have moments when I want to just so I can take a rest and be recharged. However, you seem to know those moments and you would just suddenly come up to me, put your little arms around me, and give me a big kiss and hug. It reminds me of why being a Mom is one of the most rewarding feeling on earth.

This year is also the first that you'll be celebrating it with just me at your side. There's no more Daddy since he has long abandoned us and neglected his duties and responsibilities to you. Do not worry B. I am here, and as long as I am able and alive, I will never abandon you. I will always be here, even when you won't want me to. That is what a Mom is. That's what Mom's are for.

I hope you'll understand me when you grow up. I hope that even if we have fights or misunderstandings, you will remember that Mommy wants only whats best for you and what will make you happy. A college diploma is non-negotiable though.

You're so big now. You're learning to be brave (too brave coz you like jumping in 9 feet of water at the clubhouse pool) and learning new things everyday. Mommy is so proud of you. You're very sweet too. I hope that never changes. I love the hugs and kisses and when you want to sit on my lap ... its the sweetest thing ever.

I know I'm not the best Mom; far from it actually. I am trying though. I hope its good enough for you. I really do. I love you B.

I always will, no matter what.