Amen.
Saturday, September 7, 2013
Thy Will be done ...
Amen.
Friday, September 6, 2013
dear love ...
I loathe you.
Yes, you read that right. I loathe you. I loathe you with a passion equal to none. You have brought me nothing but tears. Well, fine, you brought me happiness initially but why is it that whenever you visit me, it always ends in tears.
Can I not just have my happy ending? Is what I am looking for so hard to give? I just want my prince, that one person I can count on no matter what. I just want that one person who will always be there to hold my hand, be it when I'm wearing a shimmering evening gown, puking my guts out in a toilet seat, or when I'm in a ratty shirt crying my heart out because we just had a big fight over something senseless.
What matters is that HE is there HOLDING MY HAND and not walking away from me.
Is that so hard to do love? Seriously???
I despise you.
Yes, you read that right. I despise you. I despise you so much that even a semblance or hint of you and I cut down the person into smithereens. I trample upon any hopes that some guy may have about dating me. I chop their ego into tiny little pieces, leaving them to believe that I am some miserable bitch that they need to stay away from. Perhaps I am. Perhaps I'm just not willing to trust my heart to someone again. Perhaps its too soon.
I wouldn't know. I don't care enough to know. What I do know is that I am happy with my family, friends, and work. Right now, this is all that I need.
So yes love .. stay away from me. Stay away from me and do not bother me. I really, really hate you right now. I don't want anything to do with you and if you do not visit me in this lifetime again, it would be too soon.
Stay away from me love because if you don't, I will maim, trample, and kick you the same way you did to my heart. I promise love. I will do that.
So please, stay away from me. I don't think my heart could take another beating. It still hasn't recovered yet. Go bother someone else. Please.
I loathe you. I despise you. I hate you.
Yes, you read that right. I loathe you. I loathe you with a passion equal to none. You have brought me nothing but tears. Well, fine, you brought me happiness initially but why is it that whenever you visit me, it always ends in tears.
Can I not just have my happy ending? Is what I am looking for so hard to give? I just want my prince, that one person I can count on no matter what. I just want that one person who will always be there to hold my hand, be it when I'm wearing a shimmering evening gown, puking my guts out in a toilet seat, or when I'm in a ratty shirt crying my heart out because we just had a big fight over something senseless.
What matters is that HE is there HOLDING MY HAND and not walking away from me.
Is that so hard to do love? Seriously???
I despise you.
Yes, you read that right. I despise you. I despise you so much that even a semblance or hint of you and I cut down the person into smithereens. I trample upon any hopes that some guy may have about dating me. I chop their ego into tiny little pieces, leaving them to believe that I am some miserable bitch that they need to stay away from. Perhaps I am. Perhaps I'm just not willing to trust my heart to someone again. Perhaps its too soon.
I wouldn't know. I don't care enough to know. What I do know is that I am happy with my family, friends, and work. Right now, this is all that I need.
So yes love .. stay away from me. Stay away from me and do not bother me. I really, really hate you right now. I don't want anything to do with you and if you do not visit me in this lifetime again, it would be too soon.
Stay away from me love because if you don't, I will maim, trample, and kick you the same way you did to my heart. I promise love. I will do that.
So please, stay away from me. I don't think my heart could take another beating. It still hasn't recovered yet. Go bother someone else. Please.
I loathe you. I despise you. I hate you.
the kindly ones ...
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so
vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means
that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these
defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt
you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person,
wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t
ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at
you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It
gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness,
so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a
glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in
the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real
gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”
- Neil Gaiman, The Sandman Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
- Neil Gaiman, The Sandman Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
effortless ...
hey
a simple word
a smile
a glance
unconsciously
without even trying
you break my heart
once more.
a simple word
a smile
a glance
unconsciously
without even trying
you break my heart
once more.
Speculoos
Finally, I got to try the much talked about Speculoos Cookie Butter and Crunchy Cookie Butter. After months of wondering what the fuss is all about, I finally had a bite tonight.
Upon getting home and realizing that I have not had a decent meal for the whole day, I decided to steal some bread from my brother and pour some Speculoos goodness on it. I took a spoonful of the Cookie Butter, licked, and was in heaven.
Yes, it is not some overrated or overly hyped cookie butter. IT WAS SO GOOD. Well, in my opinion it is anyway. It was sweet and creamy and smooth. It was something that I can eat with 10 slices of bread. Eeekkkk.
It's Php450 per bottle but for me, it was worth every cent. It is simply so so good! Go try it. I highly recommend it.
Thursday, September 5, 2013
goodbye love ...
Our lips met
and tears rolled down
As I said words that needed to be said
Goodbye love.
and tears rolled down
As I said words that needed to be said
Goodbye love.
Monday, September 2, 2013
how not to move on and drive yourself crazy ....
First off all, please do not take this post seriously. Its meant to poke fun at myself and share some things on what you should not do after a break up which is unfortunately, what I did after my break up with the funny man.
It's pathetic but I can now laugh at myself and admit that I was crazy. So here goes and some of the posts here would be exaggerated because again, its to poke fun at myself and hopefully share a few good laughs with you guys.
Every thing here though does have more than a grain of truth in it.
1. Believe that its really not over. So what if he said its over, he was just mad. He was just hurt. He couldn't possibly have meant that it really is over. After all, he did say that the two of you were meant to be. Believe. Maybe if you believe enough, it will come true and he'll come back and say, "sorry, it was just temporary insanity."
2. Relive all of your memories together. Bring out the scrapbooks and browse through it, read everything you wrote about the two of you, take out his shirt and wear it every night, then go back to every song and every movie you heard and watched together in your head.
3. Don't put anything away. Why would you do that? You guys will eventually get back together. You are meant to be. So what if it takes 20 years? At least when he comes back, its all still there and it would be really romantic.
4. Do not blame him. Put all the blame on yourself. After all, if you were just perfect, then he wouldn't have any reason to leave you.
5. Keep understanding him. Yes, he may have hurt you. Yes, he may have left but all of this is just temporary. He will be back. So what if he hasn't talked to you in weeks? So what if he hasn't shown himself in months? So what if he keeps going out with different people. You are meant to be. You know that. So keep understanding him.
6. Go hide in a cave. It's easier to mope and weep and no one will be there to tell you to move on. So what if you are alone? You feel lonely and miserable anyway. He's not there anymore. The world should just end now.
7. If you can't hide in a cave, run away. I don't mean pack your bags and run away and drop from the face of the Earth but more of run away and take grand vacations or mini ones, depending on your budget. The trick here is to NEVER EVER FACE YOUR PROBLEM. Why should you? What's the point? The one you love just broke your heart. Life as you know it has come to an end.
8. Make a list to remind you why he was the one. Pick a flower and play the he loves me, he loves me not game until you get all flower petals to end in he loves me. If not, repeat the process over and over again.
9. Stay where you are. Wait for him. Play the song "The Man Who Can't Be Moved" or "I Won't Give Up" and sing to it. Why should you move on? You are the master of your own emotions. So what if those emotions are misery, pain, and agony? You're still the master.
10. Cry. Sleep. Cry upon waking up. Sleep. Cry some more and just never sleep. It's a waste of time to sleep when you can just cry.
11. Nurture all the negativity. Maybe if you're truly pathetic, he might take pity and come back to you.
12. Stalk him. Know what he's doing, what he's thinking, or who he's with. If you can't stalk him, imagine. Yes, imagine. That should kill you right then and there.
And lastly, but most importantly in the steps of how not to move on and drive yourself crazy, KEEP HOPING. Yes, keep hoping. Maybe, if you keep hoping, it would come true. If not, just keep hoping.
After all, if he still doesn't realize the truth that you know that you guys are meant to be together, you can always get inspiration from the movie Misery. That should make him believe.
PS: I'm in a bit of a better place now. I've cut down the stalking to 50% which is progress since the last 4.5 months, it was at 200%. So ladies, always remember, when the guy says he doesn't want to be with you anymore, HE MEANS IT.
Move on. If in the future he realizes that he was crazy to have let go of you, let him court you again. What matters is that when the man you love chooses himself over you (yes, thats what it means when they leave us) you need to choose yourself as well over him.
Do not do this. Please. For the love of God. It almost drove me crazy but if you really wanna give it a try, go for it. Let me know if you survive. I almost didn't.
It's pathetic but I can now laugh at myself and admit that I was crazy. So here goes and some of the posts here would be exaggerated because again, its to poke fun at myself and hopefully share a few good laughs with you guys.
Every thing here though does have more than a grain of truth in it.
1. Believe that its really not over. So what if he said its over, he was just mad. He was just hurt. He couldn't possibly have meant that it really is over. After all, he did say that the two of you were meant to be. Believe. Maybe if you believe enough, it will come true and he'll come back and say, "sorry, it was just temporary insanity."
2. Relive all of your memories together. Bring out the scrapbooks and browse through it, read everything you wrote about the two of you, take out his shirt and wear it every night, then go back to every song and every movie you heard and watched together in your head.
3. Don't put anything away. Why would you do that? You guys will eventually get back together. You are meant to be. So what if it takes 20 years? At least when he comes back, its all still there and it would be really romantic.
4. Do not blame him. Put all the blame on yourself. After all, if you were just perfect, then he wouldn't have any reason to leave you.
5. Keep understanding him. Yes, he may have hurt you. Yes, he may have left but all of this is just temporary. He will be back. So what if he hasn't talked to you in weeks? So what if he hasn't shown himself in months? So what if he keeps going out with different people. You are meant to be. You know that. So keep understanding him.
6. Go hide in a cave. It's easier to mope and weep and no one will be there to tell you to move on. So what if you are alone? You feel lonely and miserable anyway. He's not there anymore. The world should just end now.
7. If you can't hide in a cave, run away. I don't mean pack your bags and run away and drop from the face of the Earth but more of run away and take grand vacations or mini ones, depending on your budget. The trick here is to NEVER EVER FACE YOUR PROBLEM. Why should you? What's the point? The one you love just broke your heart. Life as you know it has come to an end.
8. Make a list to remind you why he was the one. Pick a flower and play the he loves me, he loves me not game until you get all flower petals to end in he loves me. If not, repeat the process over and over again.
9. Stay where you are. Wait for him. Play the song "The Man Who Can't Be Moved" or "I Won't Give Up" and sing to it. Why should you move on? You are the master of your own emotions. So what if those emotions are misery, pain, and agony? You're still the master.
10. Cry. Sleep. Cry upon waking up. Sleep. Cry some more and just never sleep. It's a waste of time to sleep when you can just cry.
11. Nurture all the negativity. Maybe if you're truly pathetic, he might take pity and come back to you.
12. Stalk him. Know what he's doing, what he's thinking, or who he's with. If you can't stalk him, imagine. Yes, imagine. That should kill you right then and there.
And lastly, but most importantly in the steps of how not to move on and drive yourself crazy, KEEP HOPING. Yes, keep hoping. Maybe, if you keep hoping, it would come true. If not, just keep hoping.
After all, if he still doesn't realize the truth that you know that you guys are meant to be together, you can always get inspiration from the movie Misery. That should make him believe.
PS: I'm in a bit of a better place now. I've cut down the stalking to 50% which is progress since the last 4.5 months, it was at 200%. So ladies, always remember, when the guy says he doesn't want to be with you anymore, HE MEANS IT.
Move on. If in the future he realizes that he was crazy to have let go of you, let him court you again. What matters is that when the man you love chooses himself over you (yes, thats what it means when they leave us) you need to choose yourself as well over him.
Do not do this. Please. For the love of God. It almost drove me crazy but if you really wanna give it a try, go for it. Let me know if you survive. I almost didn't.
Red Lantern
After a few months, I was finally able to try Red Lantern's Dimsum Buffet. I initially gave the GC's to someone but since that person wasn't able to use it and seemed like wouldn't be able to use it, he returned it to me. Normally, I wouldn't have accepted but since my Mom was really wanting to eat here, I took back the GC's.
So today, my brother, Mom, and I trooped to Solaire Resort to partake of their Dimsum Buffet and may I just say that I was impressed with the decor and ambience of Red Lantern.
I also loved that the buffet was a sit down kind of thing and we didn't need to fall in line just to get food. They just give a piece of paper and you tick off whatever you wish to your hearts desire.
And the food was simply delicious. It was so filling and the taste was just wonderful. The best of the best would be the rice rolls, the deep fried prawns and cuttlefish with almond flakes and thyme, golden barbecued pork pastries with walnuts and the deep fried kataifi roll with avocado. If you go to Red Lantern and do not order these, you'd be crazy.
We were there from 12noon to 3pm. We ate nonstop for 3 hours so we'd really have to say that the price of Php880++ per person was simply worth it. It's actually not pricey at all because of the variety of the dimsum available to you.
2 kinds of soup, 11 kinds of steamed dimsum, 3 types of rice rolls, 1 congee, 11 assortment of deep fried dimsum, 4 rice and noodles, and 4 sweets or dessert makes the price definitely worth your wallet. Kudos to Chef Wong Pak Khay. Job well done. BURP!
PS. I love that they have small rattan chairs for your bags. Seriously. It was GENIUS! =)
Love: This is Not Yet a Musical
To say that Love This is Not Yet a Musical is just another play about love is to say that Whitney Houston was just another singer in a bar. It can never be said that way. To do so would earn you a slap in the face, a kick in the shin, a pat in the back with a chair, and a spit on the face.
Yes sir, I say that I shall spit on your face if you say that Love This is Not Yet a Musical is just another play about love for it is not. What it is ... is an experience. It is a trip down memory lane. It reminds you of how love goes full circle.
FIRE or INIT is the first stage. It is that first glance, that first smile, the first touch of lips to lips, the first night of passion.
It is those raging fights that end in throes of lovemaking or mindblowing hot sex. It is those tears falling down your face because you just can't understand why this one person who is the reason for your being just doesn't get you. It is the anger in your mind and the love in your heart. It is FIRE.
It is COLD or Lamig. It is that feeling you get when things start to fall apart ... when the thought of seeing that person no longer excites you .... when you'd rather stay at home than go out and hang out with that person.
It is the fiery hands but cold eyes. It is the "I love you" spoken from your mouth but not felt from the heart. It is the I love you but I don't love you as much as I used to.
It is LONGING or TANAO. It is what happens when we need to let go of someone that we used to love. It is what happens when someone we used to know becomes a stranger overnight. It is what we do when we can no longer show the love we used to shower so freely over someone, either because we are no longer allowed to or because we must not show it.
It is wanting to bring back the past but knowing that it will never come back for it has left. We just didn't realize it or we just don't accept it. We are in denial.
Lastly, it is MEMORIES or ALAALA. It is about everything regarding the relationship. It is that quaint coffee shop you two used to hang out in. It is about that little corner in Greenfield District where he used to pick you up. It is that note in your wallet that says he will always love you, not realizing always for him has an expiration date.
It is about those memories that make your heart bleed and make your eyes weep. It is about that gut wrenching feeling in the bottom of your stomach when you wake in the morning with a smile on your face until that millisecond hits and reminds you he's no longer there.
He won't ever be there again.
INIT. LAMIG. TANAO. ALAALA.
Before the actual performance started, there were mini events happening. I took part in 3. I danced with a perfect stranger in an intimate setting. It was disturbing and yet it felt right. I also wrote down the name of someone I love but need to stop loving. I need to love me more than I love him so I said goodbye and placed his name in a bottle. Finally, I said the words I have been wanting to ask over and over again but know that the answers will never come. I finally asked, "Why was I not worth fighting for against your fears?" and blew out the candle. With that candlelight's death, my hopes of being with him again died as well for I know that it will take a long time for him to be okay and that there's a possibility that when he is okay, it may not be me he would long for.
I was part of the last group. I was supposed to be under COLD but for some reason opted for the green light which apparently is about memories. Boy was I in for ome surprises.
Part of the experience was to talk about something you need to let go and I was one of the few brave souls who shared. We had to let go of a material thing but since I had none, I had to explain why. This is the gist of what I said:
" I wasn't supposed to go here because I know that some of the words I've written will be read or performed. However, I realized the other day that I really needed to let go already. I know we're supposed to hang a memory of the person or object we need to let go of but I don't have anything of his with me right now. Besides, he's in my head all the time. He won't get out.
It's so hard letting go of something that you yearn to happen but know that perhaps, never will. You see, the one I love also loves me but he's eaten by his fears and his fears matter more than I do. It's heartbreaking. Do not love someone who loves his fears more than they love you. It will drive you crazy. You deserve better. I DESERVE BETTER."
After I shared, people clapped. They didn't clap with the others but for me, they did. I was surprised. I was humbled.
Another moment that I had was when the SPIT group was asking questions and people would shout their answers. The last question was, "what do you see yourself not doing in the next few years?" and I answered with so much gusto, "MAINLOVE!"
Now, this would have been okay because other people would be shouting their answers but for some strange reason ... with almost 200 participants there ... I WAS THE ONLY ONE THAT ANSWERED! EEEkkkkkk! So yes, heads turned, people reacted, and I was the center of attention for more than a millisecond. EEEEKKKKK!
Overall, it was more than an experience. It was crazy, it was phenomenal, it was out of this world, and it was EXACTLY WHAT LOVE IS ABOUT. It takes you out of your comfort zone, smashes you in the face head on, makes your stomach hurl, bring you to greater heights, and then pulls you back plummeting to the face of the Earth. After getting up, you say, ONE MORE PLEASE.
Yes. This is how sick and awesome Love This is Not Yet a Musical. It is exactly what love really is.
PS. These are the pieces I wrote that was featured: Do Not Date Me
My First Heartbreak
Sunday, September 1, 2013
Linggo ng Wika 2013
I was not able to attend and watch my son perform along with his classmates their piece for Linggo ng Wika. Thankfully, my Mom and cousin took time out to watch him perform and they were able to videotape the entire thing.
B's team won 1st place. Seriously, my son has a knack for being part of the best group and I'm very proud to say that he really makes a contribution.
Congratulations B! I am so proud of you. Always remember what I taught you. It's not always about winning. It's about giving things a shot and never quitting. MWAH! I love you baby.
B's team won 1st place. Seriously, my son has a knack for being part of the best group and I'm very proud to say that he really makes a contribution.
Congratulations B! I am so proud of you. Always remember what I taught you. It's not always about winning. It's about giving things a shot and never quitting. MWAH! I love you baby.
Friday, August 30, 2013
no more funny man ...
Today, I finally let go of him. I let go of the hopes and dreams I had that we would ever get back together. I let go of the love that I thought would last forever. Today, I finally, truly let go of the funny man.
For months, I kept reading that I should unfriend and block him on facebook, that I should unfollow and block on twitter. I shouldn't know what he was feeling or thinking. I should not bother finding out.
I fought back.
I wanted to know what I could. I viewed his profile like crazy. Soon as I wake up, I'd check his facebook page and twitter. I'd check every post he made and look who liked it or commented on it. I checked and checked and checked.
When he would post something new, I'd test it around my head, looking for a nuance that it was about me. When he didn't post for days, it would drive me insane because then I wouldn't know what he was thinking about. When he does post something and I think its for another girl, I'd go evenr crazier and cry like crazy.
It was unhealthy.
I was going out of my mind and I would cry at random moments. I couldn't keep it together and I would simply fall apart even at work. The tears just wouldn't stop coming. I couldn't control my feelings. I was no longer in control of anything.
Ironically, the funny man was also not doing okay. He was also affected by the fact that we were no longer together and that we weren't seeing each other. He was affected but he wasn't doing anything about it. He wasn't going to do anything about it. He wasn't ready and he didn't know when he would be ready.
He wasn't okay.
I had to let go. I had to ... for my sanity, for my mental health, for my hearts sake. You see, I still love him .... very much. But he's not okay ... and I don't know when he will be ... and I do not know that when time comes he is okay, if he will still want me.
Yes ... I do not know. I do not know anything anymore. I used to believe that it would be him and I ... that when things become okay, it would still be him and I.
He's not okay. I'm a bit okay. I'm scared that time may come that he is okay and I won't be okay. I didn't want that to happen and what's happening is I'm slowly destroying myself by choosing to love him more than I love me. I had to choose me.
I have to choose me.
I saw him last night. We talked. I told him that I would be cutting ties. He said that it is what he wanted me to do. It hurt when he said that. It seems to him, this is but natural. Perhaps, its because he is a guy and therefore less emotional. Perhaps, he really does not love me as much as he used to. Perhaps ... perhaps it is how it should be.
He said he misses me ... but it was just really too painful what happened. He said that maybe when he's okay and he still longs for me, he would court me. If he longs for me. IF.
So I let go. When we parted ways, I still didn't know what I would do ... if I actually could cut ties ... and then when I saw the laptop, I realized that it really just hurts too much. I had to cut ties. I also realized that I should just do this in one blow.
I normally have delayed reaction but this time, I just fell apart just like that. I saw his anniversary gift to me and I saw the cabinet and I simply fell apart. I just fell on the floor and I just started crying.
He said he would feel hurt when I do that but it is what needs to be done for my sanity and also possibly, his. So I did it.
I changed the relationship status on facebook. It took me several minutes. I kept going between single and in a relationship with the funny man. I kept hovering between the two. I kept changing between the two. I didn't want to be single. I wanted to be with him. But he doesn't want to be with me and so I had to accept that.
I hovered the mouse over SAVE and closed my eyes and hit SAVE. Done. Just like that .... my status went from In a Relationship with the funny man to Single. After one year and 7 months of dating him, US was no more.
I broke once more.
After, I bulldozed my heart with one hit right after the other. Unfriend, block, unfollow, block. Done. I don't know if there's anything left to break.
I am so broken but I did it. I did it. This time, I chose me. It may hurt like hell but I had to do it, the same way he had to leave and choose himself.
Perhaps, our paths would cross again if we're really meant to be. Perhaps, he'll meet someone new and she'd be the one. Perhaps I would. Perhaps .... we would never really know.
For now ... he needs to go his own way without me looking over his shoulders all the time, quietly obsessing and I need to go m own way as well. For now, he needs to be okay again and I need to heal as well. For now, this is the end for the story of the funny man.
The curtains closed last April 16. The actor took a final bow last July 21. Today, 30th of August, the lights finally turned off for the chapter of the funny man. Whether this story continues or is truly at its end, only fate knows.
This time, everything is truly up to fate.
For months, I kept reading that I should unfriend and block him on facebook, that I should unfollow and block on twitter. I shouldn't know what he was feeling or thinking. I should not bother finding out.
I fought back.
I wanted to know what I could. I viewed his profile like crazy. Soon as I wake up, I'd check his facebook page and twitter. I'd check every post he made and look who liked it or commented on it. I checked and checked and checked.
When he would post something new, I'd test it around my head, looking for a nuance that it was about me. When he didn't post for days, it would drive me insane because then I wouldn't know what he was thinking about. When he does post something and I think its for another girl, I'd go evenr crazier and cry like crazy.
It was unhealthy.
I was going out of my mind and I would cry at random moments. I couldn't keep it together and I would simply fall apart even at work. The tears just wouldn't stop coming. I couldn't control my feelings. I was no longer in control of anything.
Ironically, the funny man was also not doing okay. He was also affected by the fact that we were no longer together and that we weren't seeing each other. He was affected but he wasn't doing anything about it. He wasn't going to do anything about it. He wasn't ready and he didn't know when he would be ready.
He wasn't okay.
I had to let go. I had to ... for my sanity, for my mental health, for my hearts sake. You see, I still love him .... very much. But he's not okay ... and I don't know when he will be ... and I do not know that when time comes he is okay, if he will still want me.
Yes ... I do not know. I do not know anything anymore. I used to believe that it would be him and I ... that when things become okay, it would still be him and I.
He's not okay. I'm a bit okay. I'm scared that time may come that he is okay and I won't be okay. I didn't want that to happen and what's happening is I'm slowly destroying myself by choosing to love him more than I love me. I had to choose me.
I have to choose me.
I saw him last night. We talked. I told him that I would be cutting ties. He said that it is what he wanted me to do. It hurt when he said that. It seems to him, this is but natural. Perhaps, its because he is a guy and therefore less emotional. Perhaps, he really does not love me as much as he used to. Perhaps ... perhaps it is how it should be.
He said he misses me ... but it was just really too painful what happened. He said that maybe when he's okay and he still longs for me, he would court me. If he longs for me. IF.
So I let go. When we parted ways, I still didn't know what I would do ... if I actually could cut ties ... and then when I saw the laptop, I realized that it really just hurts too much. I had to cut ties. I also realized that I should just do this in one blow.
I normally have delayed reaction but this time, I just fell apart just like that. I saw his anniversary gift to me and I saw the cabinet and I simply fell apart. I just fell on the floor and I just started crying.
He said he would feel hurt when I do that but it is what needs to be done for my sanity and also possibly, his. So I did it.
I changed the relationship status on facebook. It took me several minutes. I kept going between single and in a relationship with the funny man. I kept hovering between the two. I kept changing between the two. I didn't want to be single. I wanted to be with him. But he doesn't want to be with me and so I had to accept that.
I hovered the mouse over SAVE and closed my eyes and hit SAVE. Done. Just like that .... my status went from In a Relationship with the funny man to Single. After one year and 7 months of dating him, US was no more.
I broke once more.
After, I bulldozed my heart with one hit right after the other. Unfriend, block, unfollow, block. Done. I don't know if there's anything left to break.
I am so broken but I did it. I did it. This time, I chose me. It may hurt like hell but I had to do it, the same way he had to leave and choose himself.
Perhaps, our paths would cross again if we're really meant to be. Perhaps, he'll meet someone new and she'd be the one. Perhaps I would. Perhaps .... we would never really know.
For now ... he needs to go his own way without me looking over his shoulders all the time, quietly obsessing and I need to go m own way as well. For now, he needs to be okay again and I need to heal as well. For now, this is the end for the story of the funny man.
The curtains closed last April 16. The actor took a final bow last July 21. Today, 30th of August, the lights finally turned off for the chapter of the funny man. Whether this story continues or is truly at its end, only fate knows.
This time, everything is truly up to fate.
Monday, August 26, 2013
Solaire Food Court
This is probably the fanciest food court that I have ever seen in my entire life. The ceiling, the lights, and the chairs were not what you normally would see in a food court.
They currently have 6 food places that you can choose from. Sapporo which is for the Japanese cuisine, Pan Asian for Indian and Mediterranean food, Hong Kong, Chicken Licken which is all about chicken, Americano and then the Pattiserie.
We tried the American this time and it was oh so worth it. The chili dog which is only Php175 is definitely worth every peso. I definitely enjoyed it and though I ate only half, I was feeling full already.
We also had the Nachos which is Php120 only and it was really filling as well. I also loved that they did not scrimp on the toppings. Definitely one of the best tacos ever. Both are from the Americano concessionaire.
After, we tried their pastries and got the Fruit SaladFiestang Pinoy, the Mango Sago, and the Walnut Brownie. The Fruit Salad was different because it had cheese strips on top. My brother liked it, I did not. It costs Php70.
The Mango Sago which was also Php70 was a bit lacking in sweetness in my opinion as well.
The runaway winner I would have to say is the Walnut Brownie, Php120. It may sound expensive but trust me, it is worth every peso you spend on it. The amount of walnuts, the texture of the chocolate, and the overall combination of everything was simply STUPENDUOUS.
Thank you to my little brother for the treat. It was AWESOME!
They currently have 6 food places that you can choose from. Sapporo which is for the Japanese cuisine, Pan Asian for Indian and Mediterranean food, Hong Kong, Chicken Licken which is all about chicken, Americano and then the Pattiserie.
We tried the American this time and it was oh so worth it. The chili dog which is only Php175 is definitely worth every peso. I definitely enjoyed it and though I ate only half, I was feeling full already.
We also had the Nachos which is Php120 only and it was really filling as well. I also loved that they did not scrimp on the toppings. Definitely one of the best tacos ever. Both are from the Americano concessionaire.
After, we tried their pastries and got the Fruit SaladFiestang Pinoy, the Mango Sago, and the Walnut Brownie. The Fruit Salad was different because it had cheese strips on top. My brother liked it, I did not. It costs Php70.
The Mango Sago which was also Php70 was a bit lacking in sweetness in my opinion as well.
The runaway winner I would have to say is the Walnut Brownie, Php120. It may sound expensive but trust me, it is worth every peso you spend on it. The amount of walnuts, the texture of the chocolate, and the overall combination of everything was simply STUPENDUOUS.
Thank you to my little brother for the treat. It was AWESOME!
Apartment 1B
I have always wanted to try the food at Apartment 1B. For several reasons though, it took more than 3 years before I was able to do so. Luckily, today broke that unlucky streak when it came to Apartment 1B. Today, this greeted me for brunch.
Upon entering the place, the coziness of it is what would hit you first. You won't feel that you are in an upscale restaurant that is intent on intimidating you. Instead, you will feel that you are at home, albeit, a classy home.
My brother ordered the Croque Madame which is a a traditional Croque Monsieur served with a fried egg and a bit of Béchamel sauce spooned over the finished sandwich.
I on the other hand had the Eggs Benedict with Smoked Salmon and Spinach. It is an American breakfast dish that consists of two halves of an English muffin, topped with ham or bacon, poached eggs, and Hollandaise sauce.
Our other companions had the Apartment 1B Breakfast and the Egg Breakfast respectively. By the way they finished off their plate, I'd say they loved it just as much as my brother and I loved what we ordered.
The main thing I really loved about the food there was that it tasted like a home cooked meal but with a bit of panache. It was classy but cozy. It's just the feeling that I got when I bit into the food. Oh, and the potatoes need to have their own place in the menu. Yes, it was that good.
We also ordered 4 kinds of dessert and everything was just right. The crepe gateau was velvety, the flourless cake was creamy, the cheesecake just the right hint of cheese, and the frozen pie was absolutely perfect especially with the sprinkling of walnuts.
Apartment 1B
Address: One Lafayette Square
G/F Unit 1-B One Lafayette Square, 132 Sedeno St Salcedo Village, Makati
(02) 843-4075
Upon entering the place, the coziness of it is what would hit you first. You won't feel that you are in an upscale restaurant that is intent on intimidating you. Instead, you will feel that you are at home, albeit, a classy home.
My brother ordered the Croque Madame which is a a traditional Croque Monsieur served with a fried egg and a bit of Béchamel sauce spooned over the finished sandwich.
 |
| Croque Madame Php530 |
 |
| Eggs Benedict with Smoked Salmon Php470 |
The main thing I really loved about the food there was that it tasted like a home cooked meal but with a bit of panache. It was classy but cozy. It's just the feeling that I got when I bit into the food. Oh, and the potatoes need to have their own place in the menu. Yes, it was that good.
We also ordered 4 kinds of dessert and everything was just right. The crepe gateau was velvety, the flourless cake was creamy, the cheesecake just the right hint of cheese, and the frozen pie was absolutely perfect especially with the sprinkling of walnuts.
 |
| Frozen Pie |
 |
| White Toblerone CheeseCake |
 |
| Flourless Chocolate Cake with Vanilla Ice Cream |
 |
| Crepe Gateau |
It was a brunch that was very much filling. We actually stayed way past the original time we allotted to ourselves because the place just felt like you were at home, hanging out with your friends. It felt like home; one wherein they served gourmet comfort food.
Apartment 1B
Address: One Lafayette Square
G/F Unit 1-B One Lafayette Square, 132 Sedeno St Salcedo Village, Makati
(02) 843-4075
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