It's been a while since you and I last talked. Truth be told, you have turned your back on me almost 3 years ago and I was just too stubborn to accept it. I held on for far too long to the idea of you. In fact, when I met Y, I thought you were back and so against better judgement, I jumped in without looking and of course, I fell flat on my face again.
I'm not sure if its you knocking on my door this time around but if it is, I have something I want to tell you love. I need you to listen carefully and I need you to believe every single word that I write in here.
I'M NOT READY FOR YOU!
I have looked for you for the last 20 years of my life and for the first time in my life, I really am no longer looking for you. I do not want you in my life right now love. I do not have the time or the space required to nurture you into growing into something beautiful. Too many things are happening and right now, there is just no space for you.
Please respect this love. I beg you. I chased you for 20 years. I think its time you wait for me now to be ready. For now ...