Thursday, June 19, 2008

trying to get the feeling again ....

At any moment he’ll be walking through that door
But he won’t find me behind it
Cause the feelin’ is gone and just won’t come back anymore
I worked so hard to find it
I’ve been up, down, trying to get the feeling again
All around tryin’ to get the feeling again
The one that made me shiver
Makes my knees start to quiver every time he walks in

This is probably one of the saddest songs I've heard in my life. I find it tragic when someone loses that feeling of love they used to have for someone. It's like listening to a heart break. You don't really hear it ripping to shreds bit by bit yet you know that it's happening and that it is painful. You know this because you went through it. You know how it feels and in some ways you relive that painful feeling even for a fleeting moment. It's even more painful because in this scenario, the other party is coming back, when there is nothing to come back to. They think there is but there's nothing. When they left, they took away everything that not even love was able to survive it.

I’ve look high, low, everywhere I possibly can
But there’s just no tryin’ to gt the feeling again
It seemed to disappear as fast as it came
Read every book, looked for every meditation and poem
Just to bring home that old sweet sensation
But it ain’t no use to me to try to get the feeling again
Where did it run to I thought I’d done all that I could
Just to keep the love light burnin’
But whatever I’ve done I just haven’t done it too good
Coz all that’s left is yearnin’
Could you help me rediscover
the way to re-be his lover once again

I think what's even more painful than the above scenario of coming back to nothing is for the other person who is left with nothing ... when they don't realize that there is nothing anymore and they make every effort to bring back what was there, to re-live those moments, to reenact what can no longer be brought back. When you find yourself convincing yourself to love someone again, that is one of the most painful thing. When you realize that you no longer love someone you thought you would love forever, it crushes you. It crushes you like a thousand buildings would, and you find that as much as you want to bring it back, its just not going to happen. You want to get it back but you find out that it just isn't there anymore.

And you hurt, because you know that when you tell the one you used to love the truth, they will be hurt. Maybe as much as you were hurt before ... and it hurts. It hurts because in some ways, you still love them. You just don't love them the way you used to.

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Hi! Let's all try to add more positivity in this world and adhere to the saying, "if you don't have anything nice to say, keep silent."

Showering you with unicorn poop so you'd always stay magical! Heart heart!